Saturday, September 26, 2009

Dating Naked, Love, NOT Enough

Her...If you Loved me, you would make this work. Me...I do love you, But sometimes, love just isn't enough.

The dreaded, its not you, its me conversation. When what you are really saying is, No, its you. I don't know why its you, but its you. Having to have that conversation, could totally destroy someone you do love, but you feel it's just not enough to sustain a working relationship for life. Call me a fool, but I believe it is so much more. I believe you just know, and know right off the bat, you can't live without this person.

I believe cold feet is a warning, that you are about to make a mistake. I believe in a true love, that makes you wake up everyday, happy. I believe true love, can consume you, consume your time, where no one can get close enough to ever challenge it. I believe people only get close enough to drive a wedge, because it wasn't the real thing in the first place. I believe that for it to be the real thing, it has to be love so great, for BOTH people, not just one.

I think sometimes, only one of the two feels...OMG, I am SO IN LOVE with this person. Where the other person feels, Yeah, I love her. The passion and feelings, are not the same. I think sometimes people think if you just love someone, it is the reason to stay together... because why not? When it should be, I couldn't...I could not be with this person. This person is the center of my universe. I think it's rare, when you have two souls, who meet and feel that same connection. I think because one feels it, they ignore that it's not the it greed, call it being stubborn.

But you want them to love you back, more than they really do. It's a hard realization, to figure out, its one sided.

Call me a pussy, but I am afraid of being someone's need for something more. More than I am their MUST. I don't want a settled-on lover. I want what my grandparents had. I want something I feel in my heart, when I see them. Where you miss them because they are not with you. I want to love her passions, and share her moments. More than anything, I want her to feel those things for me. Where it is just what it is, and not what I want it to be.

I have had to have that talk, more than I would like to. The "It's not enough" conversation. But I believe because I love them, I can have that talk. I think there is no worse feeling, than knowing you need more. Knowing they are not for you, but making them believe it is for them. The lie, so that you don't hurt them. I believe if you truly love someone, you can love them enough to be honest, and set them free.

Time is a gift, not a given. And to take their time, and later tell them, it was never enough, is the worst possible thing you could ever do.

The screwed up part of it all is, we wait till someone else is already there, to take their place beside you. Only adding to the sinking feeling in your chest. Even worse, having kids who remind you of what once was, and what is not now.

I will not cheat myself of that magic, of that love forming and building...and growing like a child inside the belly of a woman. You see, a man will never know that feeling. The closest thing we have, is falling in love. And I will not live the lie, just because I want the real thing, with all of my heart and soul. I know one thing, I can't find the real thing, while in the wrong relationship.

In closing, we fall in love all the time...but we only have but one true love. The one person we say it to for the last time. I think I will hold on to that belief. Until then, I am in the wind...Dating Naked!!!

Do you disagree: Is love enough?

Have you ever had to tell someone you love, that its just not enough?

Do you think I am living in a fantasy world?

What are your thoughts on love?



Stephanie Faris on September 27, 2009 at 12:07 AM said...

I guess it's possible that sometimes you can fully love someone and it just not be enough. But I think if it's really love you find a way to make it work. Most of the time when it's just not enough it's because one of you has that unsettled feeling that this just isn't right. In other words, "You're just not that into her!"

Dating Naked on September 27, 2009 at 12:19 AM said...

Maybe, but I really do believe we meet people we love...but we have only one great love.. And if you are unsure. I think that's telling Steph. I think brides with cold feet, should get the hell out of Dodge. I think guys with questions, should speak up. I just believe...we meet lots of people we will love...but we only get a few great ones who we few as forever...the problem with that. We if we never meet them?

What if...we get scared and get married to the closest thing to it. I think that's what we have all been doing...because no one wants to grow old alone.

Goin to Cali!! on September 27, 2009 at 1:57 PM said...

Good blog. Food for thought. I know I've had some relationships where they ended for a mature unworkable reason. That's why I say I wait awhile to tell someone I love them. I have waited months and months in the past and I've never said it within weeks. To me telling them that I love them before I know if it's workable it's like not knowing that I'm in love.
Like when people have something that really works they continue to fall everyday that they are together. Sometimes people fall just a little on the surface and then find out something that wakes them up alittle. That's when you might regret saying you love them because you realize you either don't or you stop falling right there. That wake up call brings you back to reality. It tells them it's not gonna be the lala land love that you thought it might be. Sometimes these are things that we see as a problem because of past experiences and sometimes they are simply misconstrued reality. Everybody to a degree lives outside of reality as you get to know someone. That's what getting to know a person is.
The people I know who fall in love really easily or fast often sound like they didn't really know the person and then as they did they realized it was only on the surface and not really real. The only way someone can truly love someone and especially on a romantic level is by really knowing them and loving them with those things that make them who they are whether you like those aspects or just accept them.