The Less you know, the More YOU Will Love Me

That's Men 101 for you ladies who didn't already know that. Or maybe you have always known, but ignored it because you didn't want to accept it.

The confusion lingers - The questions, still unanswered and the battle of the sexes continue. The less you know, the more you will love me. Well, not me, so to speak, but men as a whole. Ok, me too. I am the prime example of this theory. I went to an old friend for this article. I asked her, if you could ask a guy a few questions, what would you ask? And this is what I got.

"Why don’t men communicate what they mean? They bury their heads in the sand...and why can't they deal with their past before they move on and make it more complicated?"

The answer to this is simple, only because men are simple. I know, you are reading this saying, "How can a sex so complicated be simple?" Well, if you are a guy, you know we have this thing called, "Things she doesn't need to know." This is where men and women are different.

Women by nature are curious creatures. They like to talk about feelings. They want to know the root of things. Doesn't really matter how complicated the roots are. If it's tangled, women will untangle the shit out of it. None of these are bad things. Women go to each other and hash out whatever is in their head.

Men by nature are curious creatures too...but it is different. As I said above, we are simple. "Hmm, I wonder if she is wearing underwear?" “I wonder what's in the refrigerator, I'm hungry." " I wonder what's on tonight." I don't think any woman who has spent a significant amount of time with a guy will argue much of that. When something is wrong in our relationship, we don't run over to our male friends. We run over for a distraction. Drink a beer. Do something. We know that friend probably can't help us. We know he won't MAKE us talk about it. Women...want answers. They call a female friend.

OMG, Sarah. I was trying to turn him on, and he wasn't interested.”

“OMG, Carol, Mike is friends with his new co-worker...she called the house last night.”

“OMG, Jen, my vagina feels funny...does yours ever bark at you in the middle of the night?”

I mean, women should pay each other for being each other’s therapists. As sexes, we are just different. Women, as a gender, can be hypocrites. SOME women, before I get my head bitten off for generalizing. But here is an example. My friend who WAS married went to his friend to talk once. Their marriage was starting to fizzle and he wanted to save it. So he bit the bullet and went to his friend. He told his wife that he talked to him...and she blew her gasket.

"How dare you involve our personal life with an outsider," she said.

He was confused, because her friends know everything. Just like a scene from the movie, I Love You, Man. Paul Rudd confides in his friend about his fiancé’s lack of giving blow jobs in the relationship. And she gives him the third degree. But at least two of her friends know almost everything about what he does in the bedroom. Her reply when he calls her on it...”It’s different!!” So how does that answer anything? It doesn't. So I will use myself to answer that question, and break it all down.

"Why don’t YOU communicate what you mean?"

Well, the first thing that comes to mind when I get asked that. The VERY first thought is, "Why? What's the big deal?" WE might not always say it...but look at our faces. We are thinking it. We probably gave you a simple answer that was enough for us. Sometimes we don't know what we are trying to communicate - So we say as few words as possible. Once you say anything...like in a court of law, in a woman's mind, it becomes record. Women are like Italians, they don't forget. We often feel if we open our mouths, and say what WE really feel or think, that it will be held against us in every argument after that.

"Why do YOU bury your head in the sand?"

Because, we really don't have an answer, not one you might accept. OR, one that won't go over well. But it’s like when you are kids, and know you are in trouble with a parent. You just kind of want to hide and not have to deal. Men suck at accountability. Who wants to have a fight? Or sleep of the sofa. Who doesn't want dinner? Women can be unforgiving and harsh when ticked off. I would rather get sunburned on my ball bag, and eaten alive by bugs. Burying our head sometimes seems like the smart move. Sounds too easy, huh? Like I said, simple.

"Why can't YOU deal with your past before YOU move on and make it more complicated?"

First, let me say...who doesn't do that? Both genders do this. We use each other to help us pull out of it. Do I agree with it? Hell no...but it is what it is. Dealing with it won't change it. Let’s be honest here folks. We never forget. Dealing with it to a guy is like beating it to death. We kind of think if you push it far enough out of our minds, it will just go away. We compact our baggage into our pockets and try to minimize it so that YOU, can't see it. We just want to move on.

Women on the other hand, wear their baggage. I mean it’s all over Myspace. Women by far blog their issues and life much more than men. Women’s baggage is, two suitcases and a backpack and one of those pully cases. And a very large purse. A guy...you have to poke and prod - throw him up against a wall and pat him down.

"AUHH, WHAT DO WE HAVE HERE? What's this? Ex-girlfriend issue next to the gum."

"OHHH, he was cheated on. TRUST ISSUES!"

“Loves his Mommy, he’s a Momma's boy. Going to compare me to his mother the rest of our lives.”

You have to earn our baggage...because if it gets in the hands of the wrong people. It can be used against you. And that sucks. But that's what makes US, guys. That's what makes us different, besides the inverted smile in your pants.

It’s not supposed to be easy, guys...and what makes it worth it all, is when you find the right person who wants to share it all with you. All the funny stuff, all the hard stuff and all the life issues locked in our box. We all have a box...before YOU try to unlock his box, make sure yours is open as well. There is no answer in the wrong person. So if you have to ask...he's probably not for you. To my friend...I LERVE YA!!!
That's NAKED!!!