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I am here to unleash a brand new Concept, a new kind of blogging experience - Dating Naked Online. A sure fire way to be controversial, edgy and in the know. A male and female must read a long time in the making. I am a former myspazz BLAHH-GERRR... Aspiring to take my writing to new heights. I guess you can call it the mile high club of writing so to speak. I could lie to you and tell you it's all about romance and fun and the L word, la la, loove... but it's not. It has elements of all of the above, but in the middle, the stuff most people leave out will be explored for your reading horror. There will be elements of my reality, past and present. I call it my reality column... a recurring narrative you can follow week by week. Dating Naked is the name... Dating in all its forms, is the topic. Naked in how I strip it all down to its raw naked form for your reading pleasure. I promise, you will read nothing like it. Subscribe now.


Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater, blah, blah, BLAH!

Do you think that's true, or are you bitter and need to tell yourself that because you don't have any other answers?

Let me be the first to give you the NAKED truth...Yes, he or she cheated. They betrayed a trust and now, you are a bitter little pill about the whole thing. But let's not become a cliche', and start ranting about cheaters, and how "Once a cheater, always a cheater". Sure, be angry...but you are missing the glaring fact, that he or she, wasn't it for you, or they wouldn't have. They did you a favor, because, do you really want to be with someone who cheats first, breaks up later?
I know, I know...You want answers, why do people cheat?

Well, there is not just one reason...depends on the sex. No, not sex lives, although, that is one of the reasons people cheat, they are not getting laid. But what I meant was the sex, male or female. Men, tend to cheat for very different reasons. Men are simple creatures...there is no mystery to the sex, although to women...we as men, are a science they have yet to master. That is true, because you have yet to learn to think like us, and not a woman. It just might be dangerous for you to even do so. But men cheat for the simplest reasons you could ever imagine. Why?

They just couldn't say no!!!

It's the truth...men just can't turn away the opportunity. Most guys have only heard about the sex lives their friends have had, or what they see on TV. For men, it's almost an urban legend. The hot new girl at work, she only fucks the boss...right? Or, the girl on the business trip...that doesn't really happen? Auhh, but it does, and until men are faced with the opportunity...they are not lying when they say they wouldn't cheat. You will hear men deny it, even catch attitude when generalized about being a dog, like every other guy. But what's he supposed to say?

Yeah, honey...I do love you, but, I am only as faithful as my options?

No, he's not going to say that, he is going to make you feel as secure about his commitment to you as he possibly can...because he doesn't know the future any more than you do. You might be married til death do you part, or until some other girl's legs part. I get the feeling sometimes, women think it was a plot from day one. Lure them in, give the woman a false sense of security, then bring in the new babes. For guys who cheat on their wives, it was as much a surprise to the guy, as it was to the wife. I think women give men too much credit a lot of the time. We really aren't that clever, not that some men aren't. Some are masters of the game. But really, men are as stupid as we are when we leave the porno in the DVD player..."I don't know how that got there?"

Men are always going to be weak to women with amazing bodies and a sexual appetite that she can verbalize. Men, just can't say no, not all men...there is a very very small number of guys who make a commitment, and won't budge. But even they have a weakness, a weakness I would love to put to the test, when they have no idea they are being tested...watch them fall under the pressure. I know that's mean, but I just always have to be right...and I know I am. <---my reality TV show idea... lol

It's my version of Punk'd...call it, Bust'd. Right when the guy is about to cheat, the wife jumps out and screams, BUST'ed...that's when I come out like Ashton, right behind her. lol

For most guys, it's not a matter of being faithful, but a matter of how many options they have. Look at a rockstar, or a rap artist...actors. They all have options, and that's why they move from commitment to commitment. Brad had Jennifer, did a movie with Angelina...Marriage over. Look at Jon and Kate, plus eight. The guy suddenly got a little bit of fame, and he was dipping it in every option he could, plus the nanny.

If you ask some women, that's because they are dogs...pigs and whatever name you can think of as an insult. But that's anger talking...bitterness that you weren't enough...weren't enough to turn away the options. It is a hard pill to swallow, but sometimes, we are just not enough, doesn't matter how hard you try.

It's not just about options, it's about staying young, by changing what's old around you.
Other men cheat, well...because the wife got old...physically, and mentally. She is nothing like the girl he married...she dresses differently...wears her hair differently. She is insecure about her own immortality. Maybe a little bitchy. Simply put, guy meets a girl, who reminds him of the wife he use to be in love with, and in lust with. Love loses its luster, when the lust fades...don't lose sight of that very important fact.

On the flip side, women cheat for more complicated reasons.

For women...this is where it gets tricky. Young girls cheat, because well, they are young and probably shouldn't be in a relationship. I tell my younger cousins all the time, from 17 to 25, be single...screw being in a relationship, they just hold you down. From school, from life, from friends. From going places. I see it all the time, kids trying to be adults when they have no business doing so. But that's because society confuses them. Young people want to get laid, just like everyone else. But society dictates that you should be in a commiment, that commitment sex is better...religion tells us to wait till we are married. You have teens, having babies and getting married, before they even know what they are getting into. So of course you are going to heve a break down in relationships, and when it breaks down, wolves like myself, sneak in the back door. Age is the major reason cheating exists.

Wrong guy, wrong time.

Sometimes, it's as simple as being with the wrong guy, yet not wanting to be alone. And then someone comes along, that rattles everything right down to the foundation of your family, and relationship. You might even push it away at first, but curiosity gets the better of us, almost every time.

Last but not least - PEOPLE cheat, because something is missing from the one who promised to be everything we needed. Men stop dating women, once we have them. Women become full time mommies before they have their first child. He is called the husband. The sex, the passion, all disappear over time, but the woman's sex drive doesn't. In fact, it goes up, and men's penis's start to go down, and stay down. But women won't leave or stray just because of that, they might talk shit about him to her BFF. But she won't cheat. They cheat, when the romance leaves and is forgotten. When they feel neglected and taken for granted. They cheat with the guy friend, who always listens, who plays the part she wishes the husband played.

Some women, well, they just cheat like guys do, because she could. Because the opportunity presented itself. I once interviewed a happily married woman, who had a great sex life, great husband and father. Yet, she felt she needed someone else when she got bored, to keep her marriage fresh and new. She was content, and felt strongly that her hubby would never find out, and as of today, he still hasn't.

I have slept with all three female examples. After me, they left their husbands and boyfriends...eventfully met someone else and are happy, and not cheating. Give someone happy, and they won't cheat. So, the idea of, once a cheater, always a cheater...created by angry women who hate the fact that someone they trusted, and loved...betrayed them. I cheated in high school...yet, my whole eight year relationship, I never cheated once. It's not a science.

In closing, what I come away with is this...people make mistakes, in people. Over age, over not really getting to know who they are with. Over not living a good single life, before they make a commitment. I know guys who cheated on the wife. Married a second time, and are as happy as they ever were in the first marriage. Same for women. Then there are those, who are just not meant to be tied down. And you know what, it took a few broken hearts to realize it. That's life. But I understand why some people need to believe cheaters will always be cheaters...But you can say the same thing to those ex-boyfriends who spent years with you, and never gave you a ring, but did so to the next girl, under a year. Bitterness...NAKED!!!

Basil Latorre
Dating Naked