Don't ASK, Don't TELL

Dating Naked
Guest Writer: Felicia.
Topic: The Open Relationship

Awe, the open relationship. I prefer to call it the "don't ask, don't tell" policy... call it what you will... it all boils down to the same thing.

I, like most, have spent plenty of time kissing frogs. I've gone from nerdy, straight-laced book worm types to bad-ass, shit-talking, good-for-nothing-but sex guys. And probably some of their girlfriends as well. So after several years of playing trial and error, this was the perfect alternative for me.

I happen to be a person that is very easily bored. Now I'm not saying that one day I think you're great and the next I don't. All I'm saying is that today you entertain me...tomorrow? Umm, maybe not so much. On top of that, I'm very easily distracted. The combination of the two can often be a little much for some people to handle.

Basil says I have a hard core case of relationship ADD. He thinks if I were medicated that things would be different.

Truth is, he's just saying that because he wants to try and take advantage. Yeah, I called you out...love you back, brat. In my life, I've been referred to as a many number of things. Some say I am a bitch. Others say I'm cold-blooded. I've heard insensitive, selfish, self-absorbed, self-centered; all of which may very well be true. Hell, who am I kidding... I'd be lying if I said otherwise. The only thing I can say to justify my actions, is what you see is what you get. I put my thoughts out there, and you can take it for what it is. There are no secrets. No hidden agendas. Never been the girl with the ulterior motive.

To be honest, I tend to hear these statements after I'm done and on to the next one. It's usually the 11th message, and they're still not over it. Ok, maybe it IS a little my fault. Sometimes I'm not so hot in the call back department. But I gotta tell ya, I got the point after they've left the 5th. Usually, by that point, there isn't much to be said to change my mind. Guess you can add stubborn to my list of attractive qualities as well. In any case, name calling isn't going to get it done for them. If anything, it's just another thing to bring laughter to my day. And yes, I do laugh often.

Going to throw this out there, in case you're a sensitive person. Probably not the right thing for you to get into. Some people resort to crazy things in regards to matters of their bruised egos. So don't be surprised how quickly people change.

Luckily for me, I am all of these things and probably more, so it doesn't affect me in the least.

The only downfall with the open relationship is that some people go into it thinking that this is what they really want. Or do they? Often I feel these people think they can change you. They put their best face forward and introduce you to the person they think you want them to be. Something like an interview. Always love it when you wake up one day and the representative is gone...leaving you to deal with the real monster they've become...or tried to disguise, I should say.

It's always funny to me, because I make it pretty clear what I want from the jump. This is what it is, and this is what it's not. Although they may get that awkward look as if they are temporarily stunned, it's always better to leave little room for confusion. You'd be surprised how many people look smarter than they really are.

So naturally you come across the few people who think they're super slick. They think they can tell you what you want to hear. They think that since you don't constantly reiterate what they already know, that maybe your feelings have changed? Then, once they think they're in there, they totally flip the script. As if you were faking the funk, just as they were. Again, umm, not really. That's usually the moment when you're staring at my ass...bolting for the door.

Honestly, the open relationship can be such a beautiful thing if both people know where they are in life, as well as where they are going. It really works if you can welcome it with open arms and open eyes.

See it for what it is and leave well enough alone.

It's very similar to a relationship in that you get all the perks. You go out, you have fun. You have a companion to share all the things you enjoy in life, as well as someone who knows your likes and dislikes.

Only difference is, is that anything goes. It's perfectly acceptable to go out and flirt with someone else. Hell, you can even take that person home. It allows you to give in to all your sluttastic urges while keeping a safety net around in the event that you're unable to hook up with anyone hotter.

Some have yet to realize the difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul. When you're younger, you don't know anything other than the path you're lead to believe is right. After a while, you see that everything is not always what you're told. Sometimes you need to form your own opinion instead of believing everything you hear. You find there's a difference in company and security. There's a difference in loving and leaning. Kisses and promises...not the same thing.

An open relationship means you don't have any rights over that other party. It takes a person that understands that love doesn't mean possession. Ideally they will be fully honest with each other (unlike most typical relationships). They don't get pissed at each other over minuscule things. In fact they will just like each other for who they are and support each other through times of need. There is no responsibility, hence there is nothing to fight about. Similar too, but not the same as polygamy. Just in having the ability to have more than one sexual/loving relationship at a time. Everyone has full knowledge and consent of the actions of the other person involved.

It seems to me as though we're always governed by love, when if anything, we should be subservient to desire. I am a person that knows what she wants...and usually gets just that. And I gotta tell ya, I'm one happy bitch. I don't know how many people are in situations that they are not happy with, but stuck in this comfort zone they have created. Yes, you have what you thought you once wanted...but do you still want it now? Are you sure?

Personally, I believe that half of us are immersed in sin. And what is a sin really? I know you guys know...that's why you read this smut. So just in case you DON'T know, a sin is a deliberate violation of any sort of moral or religious rule/law. Now I'm not a religious person...or always moral for that matter...but I'm guessing that my way of living, isn't the ideal way society would like to see a girl in her 20's, like myself.

Hey – ya know what? To each his own. Maybe more people should be real to their feelings and act it. Whether it be this or something else, everyone always has an opinion. Funny, because I don't recall asking for it, right?

All joking aside...Mahatma Gandhi once said, "We must be the change we wish to see in the world."

Take it for what it's worth...Felicia, Naked for a day.

Tomorrow, the male side of this topic. My rebuttal.