And doing single well...because let’s be frank, most of you don't do it well at all.
Watching men and women being single these days is painful to watch. I think it’s even painful for them to go through it. But that's where I become confused. Being single gets a bad rap in my opinion; I mean, it allows you to open new doors, try new things. Maybe it’s just me, but I am a curious person, I like opening new doors...and love trying new things. To me, there is nothing more exciting than the unknown. Being single offers us a world of opportunity. You just have to know where to find it.
I have read articles from Men's Health to Forbes magazine discussing the five best cities to meet men and women. First of all, you can meet people in any city, any place around the world. There is no such thing as one city being better than another. Now if you are living in a city of 3000 people, your chances of meeting someone drastically changes...kind of common sense. Small town America is famous for high school sweethearts, but that's also because there are less fish in the pond. Dating sites are all the rage. And while they are viable, they have flaws.
1: They will never accurately tell you anything. Does anyone list his or her flaws? Do those sites even ask people that? Do they ask you if you have ever cheated on someone, and if they did, would you admit it? Does anyone put down the questions like...”Are you a good conversationalist?” Eight out of ten times, you are viewing the representative, what they think they are, or wish they were.
What they are good for is...they allow you to pick who was the hottest; because if you pass the eye candy test, it really doesn't matter what your profile says...someone will give you a chance.
If you are single, it won't hurt to sign up for one, not two or three, of those sites like eHarmony, or Match. They are the reputable sites. I will say, avoid anything free...because that's where you will find the bottom feeders mixed in with the good ones. The real douche bags who don't like to pay for anything. They complain that they have to pay for your drinks...pay for dinner. God forbid they had to pay for one of those dating sites. You will find them all over Myspace...number one breeding ground for douche nation. Facebook is another, although it’s not as bad as Myspace. And they are there because it’s booty pickings for smart players. Guys will be any place girls are, that is a fact you need to recognize. The easier, the better…that should be your first rule if you want a serious man or woman. If it is free, beware!
2: To go along with your account on one of the reputable sites, go out and try speed dating. Go out with one if not all of your girlfriends or best Bro-friends. There are so many new ways to meet people these days. Why not make a night of it just for fun. What’s the worst that could happen? Meeting in person allows you to avoid wasting time. With people, there are just some things you can't hide, but you can easily pick up on in person. I always say, especially with girls, they just know. They know if they won't like you, if they will sleep with you...whether or not they will enjoy getting to know you. When they get a bad vibe, baby...pack it up, it’s over.
One of the biggest issues with single women that makes being single miserable is they wait for men to talk to them, rather than approaching the men. It’s the biggest misconception that you come off looking desperate. Most, if not all guys are afraid of rejection, and coming off looking desperate just isn’t appealing. But in the same breath, women are sick of men approaching them with their cheesy unoriginal lines.
So how does one solve that problem, without coming off too desperate?
I understand that some of those guys you approach will turn out to be married, gay or just jerks. But, you must believe a few of them might just be someone of interest that will live up to the billing. But you wouldn't know that because you most likely will never see them again. Why, because you didn't woman up and introduce yourself!
B: You have to be willing to date, like go out on an actual date. That means don't give them your Myspace, and don't spend hours talking to them on the phone until after you had at least one good first date. Lunch dates are best...especially if you have a job, or career. Think about that, you could actually have a week of five dates with men getting to know them...and by the end of the week you might have one great weekend date with the one guy that impressed you better than the rest. What's the worst that could happen? They are all duds, and you have a weekend out with the ladies. That just means a new week of phone numbers and new dates. Another perk about the lunch date...if it’s really bad, hey, you have to be back at work in an hour…right? Lol!
My advice: Don't put all your eggs in one basket. Your chances of finding the right guy greatly increases the more men you meet, just like anything else in life. You might even meet a few good friends...date quantity, and pick quality.
If you have questions...I have answers. If I don't, I will make it up as I go.
