We're Only As Good as Their Options?

Dating Naked
Writer: Basil Latorre
Topic: Relationship/Options

Life is short, and relationships can be short-lived if you begin to take it for granted. Relationships all have expiration dates...At least in this day and age, people have short memories.

What have you done for me lately, isn't that the expression? I like to say, "We're Only As Good as Their Options." It's mean, but it's honest. I mean, that's what we all say we want, right? I wonder how true that really is.

Today, we learn about the failure of relationship values. Let's face it, half of you, never had any to begin with. Another 25% only think they have it, and the other 25% have it for only so long, until the next best thing comes along. I am convinced that's what it is. We all have short memories, and that's okay. It's okay to expect what it is you fell in love with in the first place. It's okay to feel you are being short-changed. It's okay to wish you had a sex life. It’s okay to expect conversation. In saying that, have you ever wondered how it got to the point of living without all of that?

It's easy to figure out why people need options. It’s easier to throw something away, than it is to put it back together; to fix it.

It's easier to fall in love with someone else that reminds you of what you once had. It’s easier to laugh with someone else, than it is to fight with you. It’s easier to have an affair, than it is to ask why we aren’t having sex. Relationships reach a stalemate period. When that happens, both parties weigh their options. Sometimes those options are being researched while still in the relationship. While you are ignoring the problem there is a person trying on your shoes, your clothing, your bed, in turn...your relationship, fits like a glove.

A while back, during the MySpace day's...I blogged about a girl who was having an affair with a guy who was engaged to another woman. There were some very strong comments and opinions about both parties. He was the perfect example of someone who was weighing his options, while having a safe option at home. The fiancé was lacking in the bedroom, so he had someone he can probably get to do anything. Someone who will bed and drop at need; a panty-dropper who is using her vagina to lure your man away from you.

It's a dog eat dog world, everyone is out for what they can get.

If you are wondering, why does he not just be with the girl on the side, let the bedroom disaster go? The girl on the side is lacking too, the only thing she has going for her is that he knows she will bark, and fetch for his pleasure. While she is great to pass the time with, she is not relationship material. If she were, he would break off the engagement, and make her it!!

He will continue to shop around and weigh his options until something comes along that he can't pass up. Until then, he will string along both girls while he is probably testing the market for something better.

If you are in a relationship, and entertaining other offers, you are guilty of doing this very same thing. And without revealing or ratting anyone out; it's happening on social networking sites every single day. MySpace/facebook are the Wal-Mart of options for a lot of us. NO one does unhappy for very long... eventually the laws of average will catch up to you, and if you're not looking...They are.

On the flip side…Grenade Gone Wild. To prove it's about options, I will unveil a story of a grenade who shed her shrapnel...and became datable by options, previously not interested. Now mind you, this girl wasn't fat by any means. I mean, I think she could still look down, and see her vagina...where it's my belief, once you can't look down and see her, you have officially gone, one pound too heavy.

Close your mouths, I said it...it's the same for guys too. Once we can't see over the hill, and see the mushroom cap, it’s time to officially attack the Slimfast shake and start running a mile. Immediately!!!

But getting back to the GGW, this was a person, who wanted a relationship, but couldn't get it...Ohh she could get laid. But no one wanted to stick around and grow old and big with her. Finally one day, she found what she was looking for, a boyfriend...only unlike most girls and guys in a relationship, she didn't put on relationship pounds, she lost some. And that's when guys, previously not interested, started giving her the one true thing she always wanted...Attention.

The more options she had, the less she wanted the guy who looked past her plumpness. Finally, she did what everyone would do in her position. She dumped her boyfriend for quantity, and, not quality...options she never had before. And as much as she preached she wanted a loyal, good -hearted man, who wanted what she wanted...in the end, she just wanted the men who rejected her. Options give us a false sense of security...although she can get guys; she still can't keep them...because today, she is chronically single.

If you always had options, it’s nothing at all to turn it down. But you have to wonder about those who never did, and what would they do, if suddenly they had something so above their norm, that they could turn it away. In some ways, I think we are all a product of settling...because you just never know. And in saying that, what do you think your partner would do, if something previously unattainable, wanted to be with them. Just how confident are you with the person you are in love with? Are you, only as good as their options?

Topic of conversation: Do you agree, or disagree with the end of my blog? Do you think we are all a product of settling?

Do you think we are only as good as their options?

And just how far would you go, to find out. Would you set your partner on a collision course with someone you know they would find attractive, just to see how they would react?

Would YOU, really want to know?

Basil

Dating Naked

Was It Really That Bad, Or Was it Just Me?

Ok, so the dating scene is not going as smoothly as you thought it was going to be.

The last guy turned out to be a jerk after you had sex with him, and this other guy/girl won't stop calling after one bad date. Now you’re starting to second-guess breaking up with your last relationship. Grass isn't always greener, is it?

I could have told you that, but who asked me. It doesn't always happen as fast as you would like! That's always a fact. Nothing good ever comes easily...or quickly. If it seemed too easy, it probably was. You are not the exception, the exception being the rule. If you were, you wouldn't be thinking about that ex. You see, he wasn't perfect, but he was always there. It’s easy to remember the comfort of the relationship. It’s even easier to forget why we broke up in the first place. The pull to pick up the phone is a drug, and it’s not easy to shake. Sometimes we just want what's familiar.

It’s like a comfort food you have not had in awhile; you just know it’s going to be good...even if it won't help your diet.

It’s even funnier how they know when to call when you are at your most vulnerable point. Like they have some kind of spy in your brain, telling them, "CALL, she is miserable." Weird Jedi mind tricks we play on ourselves.

A sign from above: You were thinking about old times, the best times. Looking at old photos...it must be a sign that he called...Right? Wrong, it’s really not...you are just looking for a sign. Loneliness is a bitch of a feeling. Loneliness is a feeling where people experience a powerful surge of emptiness. In that emptiness, we reach for things to fill that void. It makes you call a friend, just to see if they are going to tell you what you want to hear. Tell you that yes, what you are thinking is true, Confirmation. The truth of the matter is, he probably has been thinking about you from the point of the break up. Maybe because he misses you, or maybe even because you ended it, and not on "his" terms. Maybe because he has an ego, and didn't like being dumped, and told it’s not going to work. Most of all, he of all people, will know just what to say.

Of course he will, he spent a good chunk of time with you, and knows just what it is you need to hear... It’s not at all that they changed and have figured out what they did wrong the first time. No, it’s that they can manipulate your weakness of being lonely. "You know, kind of how they kept you in that relationship longer than you wanted to be in it in the first place. "Manipulation," is the way most people get what they want, even when it is not really what you wanted.

The ex is guilty of this just as much as a player trying to get in your pants. They, like the player, will say and do whatever it’s going to take to get that end result.

Sex with an Ex...aka comfort sex: Like a comfort food, comfort sex is the familiar touch of someone who put in the time. He may not even be the best sex, but it was that relationship sex you have been missing. The problem is, there is no way a stranger can give you that feeling you desire. Yeah, he might be able to fuck, and fuck well...you might have cum more times in one night with this stranger than you did your whole relationship...but we all know what the truth really is. Most girls will take emotional in-love sex over that great fuck. I know some of you ladies are reading this talking to yourselves saying, "BULLSHIT, I want the fucking and the orgasms!"

But more than not, you want that emotional connection only a relationship can give you. We all know when that guy is inside you, and he is looking so deep into your eyes, you think you can see inside of his heart, and it’s beating just for you. But you are only remembering the beginning, and not the middle and the end.

The beginning is the best part of everything new. If that feeling came in a food, or candy bar, you girls would all be pretty fat, and watching infomercials waiting for that next new gadget sure to knock the pounds right off...right? It doesn't and chocolate will only last so long.

So, you sit there mind-fucking yourself asking: "Was it really that bad, or was it you being selfish?" Maybe it was both...maybe the beginning was like any other great beginning. But he or she couldn't sustain it. But, never lose sight of the things that made you feel neglected, or the selfish habits they couldn't change that made you want to get on a plane and never come back. The relationship came to an end for a reason, and it’s your job to see if it was really them, or maybe it was you.

In the movie The Break Up...It ended with Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston running into each other, and everything seemed all clean and fresh. He had learned something, and lost some relationship pounds. And she had traveled and done the things her relationship held her back from doing. It ends with the possibility of something...but doesn't elaborate.

That's us...sometimes you have to leave something and leave it in the past, to have something better than before. You can't EVER go back to something thinking it wasn't really that bad. That's fools gold.

You want the past, you will get the past...and all the bullshit that came with it. Make sure you know that if you do get that pull, that you have moved on from the past, and start all over from go. They have to earn your time, not get it because nothing else better came along. I know the theory is, “I’d rather be unhappy and not alone, than unhappy and alone.” How about we just work on being happy, the rest will follow...NAKED!

Basil...Dating Naked