Oral Sex...She'd Rather Not?

Is giving head, dead. Do they still make this time machine...and how do we turn them from time machine, to a Hoover vac, for our pleasure?

A few years ago, one of my writers wrote a blog called "Oral Fixation" that opened up the door to the topic like never before. While there are certainly women who love giving it, it also opened the debate to women who don't. It doesn't matter what new positions you and your lover find during sex, with some women...the idea of oral sex is nauseating. I myself have had the “No thanks!” run-in a few times. It leaves you looking down at your junk, thinking...what did it ever do to you?

I have even had one girl tell me she would lick it, but wouldn't put it in her mouth. I thought to myself, lick it? What is it, a charms blow pop...baby, there is no gum. She said, "I don't want it in my mouth, or anyone's for that matter, don't take it personally." I replied, “I have to, I think my penis is going to need therapy after this.”

Talk about rejected; so I let her do her version of a blowjob, while it wasn't the worst of things, it left me yearning for the full mouthy.

One of the many reasons women are turned off by the idea of giving a blow job, comes from a taught belief that oral sex is impure, dirty and even disgusting, spawned by religious-minded parents. Others come from really bad experiences with previous partners who criticized their performance. After reading a comment on the blog "Oral Fixation" by a reader named Danielle...I thought about other reasons women detest the idea of oral sex...And I totally feel for them.

This is just some of what she said: "I am not the biggest fan of blow jobs. It’s not that I hate them...I am " boycotting". First of all, I really have probably the worst gag reflex in the world!! I gag brushing my teeth for God sakes. I am down to do it when it’s clean. I would not expect my husband to go down on me after sweating all day, so why should he expect me to? Secondly, a trim is only a cleanup if it actually makes a difference...I wouldn't expect my husband to find his way through a bush...and I make the adjustments ;) "

I sympathize, I do, a gag reflex is a gag reflex...But the trimming part. Hey...a little manscaping is very important in this day and age. Guys have slowly gotten past the idea, that yes...men can trim and shape too. So what, they call you "metro-sexual." GET OVER IT! It looks good, it’s clean. It even gives you the illusion of more shaft. Yes, it was always there, but at first glance, a few of those inches were covered by a giant man bush.

You wanted inches? You got inches...Just trim a foot off the edges and voila...it's a penis makeover.

But, one of the main reasons women aren't too excited about giving men oral pleasure is because they feel that they don't have the skills to properly please their man. I have heard more women, be kind of intimidated by my sexual past...feeling they wouldn't be as good as others might have been. So, they don't do it at all.

Also, I was talking to a past writer not too long ago about the complex women have about blowjobs. It is the belief that men take longer to reach their climax through oral sex as compared to sexual intercourse. For this reason, some women take offense and feel that if they cannot properly please their man, they would prefer not to do it at all.

1: We all have a past, and while some of our sexual experiences were better than others, that should never make one not want to do something, don't matter what it is. In all honesty, it should make you work that much harder, to be that much better. I know I would. I can't expect to start out being the best she’s ever had, but I, for damn sure, will learn how to be.

2: Yes, for some strange reason, entering a woman makes you want to orgasm, right there and then. I never really understood that. Maybe it’s because we are not doing any of the work...maybe it’s just a small difference in sensation. It for sure doesn't mean you are doing it wrong...if you want the truth, when you are getting bad head, we want it over with, even before we reach climax. If we are taking longer, it’s probably because it feels amazing, and we don't want it to stop.

Danielle also stated in that comment, that she hated the taste of sperm. And, really, as a guy, I don't blame her...more times than not, after watching a girl take a mouthful, I often wondered how the hell she did that with out hurling on my lap. I really do sympathize. But women have tricks where they don’t even taste it, when it goes down with one swallow...my heroes! But in talking taste, let’s not forget that women don't taste like cherry Kool-Aid...yet, I would never use that excuse. You women have far more going on down there than any guy at any time. The truth is, I get lost in the giving so much so, I never think about it.

3: Blowjobs should never be used as a reward once a month. To go along with Danielle's comment, there was also a reader who admitted that she also didn't like it, but did it for her husband once a month, as a treat for being good.

A TREAT, WTF is that? Maybe he deserves being treated like a child. But whatever happened to spontaneity in the relationship? Where is the foreplay, and the idea that anything, can and will happen? So what happens if he had his “once a month” treat the night before, and you are fooling around the next day, does that mean his penis is off limits to your mouth? To me, that is what's wrong with marriage...things change. People don't make out, sex is a chore because it’s your duty to please your man, and not that you can't help but want to please him, and be pleasured back. This is why men wander off, because they want that raw, unexpected in-the-moment rush that comes when the lust gets the better of you.

If she were my wife, she would get one conversation, about how that makes me feel. If it went ignored, or overlooked or if it turned into a fight, divorce papers would be next, on the grounds of false advertisement. I want what we had when we first got together. No exceptions. And if that was what he married, and she was always like that...you get what you paid for. Never take less than what you are worth.

So, a little recap, what did we learn here?

Smooth Landing: Give a her a smooth landing to land on...Shave that brillo pad. If she wanted to swallow some, she would run in the kitchen and get a fresh one out from under the sink. It’s almost 2010, The Sasquatch look went out with The Seventies, with polyester shirts, and bell-bottoms. Remember, manscape...if you expect them to, you better keep up in the right areas.

Be Sensitive: Women are not the only ones who should speak up in the bedroom, but for Christ sakes guys...ease up! You sound like a father scolding his kid. Lighten up and remember she might not understand the male penis like we don’t know their genitalia. Take your time and explain that some of what she heard through "Rumors" about men loving teeth is not always true with you. I myself cannot stand teeth chewing on my mini-me. But ladies, close your eyes and imagine your guy wrapping his teeth around one of your lips, and scraping them across it...yeah, OUCH!

Oral foreplay: You don't always have to jump right into the act. Oral foreplay can make going down on your guy even more enjoyable than you can imagine. Use flavored lubes, or honey...whatever you like. It can open some serious doors into some wild nights.

She Cums First: Never underestimate the power of a mind-blowing orgasm, especially the feeling of your lips against her clit. This is a first kiss that will literally take her breath away, and open that door that is her mouth to your penis. Make her cum hard. She will be more than willing to help you out.

So, I know this is a subject that some of you are not willing to talk about in public...You never know who else is reading, or you are just shy. But for those who will, leave some comments.

What do you think about the married woman who only performs once a month as a treat?

Does oral sex turn you off, and why? Is giving head, dead?

Basil...Dating Naked.