To Friend, or to Boyfriend?

Hey Basil - What do you do if your boyfriend hates all your friends, and your friends hate your boyfriend? What do you do in that situation? Feels like a lose/lose situation if you ask me? Thanks, Marissa

Basil - Well, it is a situation, but to me...an easy one to figure out. This is a classic tug-of-war over loyalty. The boyfriend wants to know if it's all about him, or if you are tied to your friend's opinions. And your friends see someone who is different and who wants you to pull away from them. In both cases, they are both selfish in what they are doing. Maybe your friends like the ex, and have hopes you will return to that person. And the boyfriend, knows he is the outsider, and could give a rat's ass, because he knows he can't change their feelings. The question remains, is he really making you happy?

If he is, and you are not ignoring the issue of "sometimes love just blinds you" until something happens and you then see what everyone was talking about the whole time. If that's not the case, then you need to have a sit down with the friends. And ask them to be fair, and let you and your relationship grow, without the tug of war or guilt of being with him. On the flip side, maybe if the boyfriend cared, he would make an effort to show them that he is the right person for you. They don't have to love each other, just co-exist. And maybe, just maybe...mutual respect will evolve.


I trust all my friends' judgment because they know me better than anyone. Above all though, it's my decision. A decision I will have to live with, and whether or not it's the wrong one, better make the wrong decision yourself, than to look back knowing someone else made the wrong one for you. That's what being an adult is about. If it's your really good friend that knows you and he or she has a legitimate reason for not liking him, you should question that and really look into it. But that's it. They are there to advise you, not make choices for you. A "REAL" friend, will know that.

The NAKED truth
Basil, Dating Naked

The NAKED Truth...He Wants Space

Dear Basil, what does it mean when he says he wants space after six years of being together and having a child? Signed anonymous.

Dear Anonymous...would love to tell you he is just going through stuff, and he needs space to work it all out. But I would only be doing that to soften the blow that he is probably talking to someone else who has his attention. And that maybe, you sense this, and might be hovering over his every move. So by asking for space, he gets to explore it. Leaving you as the fall-back option. My question to you is, has he ever cheated on you? Do you break up a lot?

She replied that they always fought, and that he left her for another woman about a year ago for about three months.

My question in return was, why did she take him back after that, and why does she not know what "I need space means?" It's pretty obvious that he has his eyes open for new options. That he has little respect for her, and that she does not value herself like she should. Why would anyone take being the fall-back option if you had any value of one's self?

The answer is simple, she is afraid to have to start all over, as a single Mom, and that she has little or no self worth. I don't mean that as an insult as much as I am meaning to slap some sense into her. Beyond him being the father of her child, he offers her nothing tangible. Just a warm body she is used to having around so that she doesn't have to be alone. I think it's honorable for parents of children to work things out, but when is enough, really enough?

She went on to ask, so would I look stupid if I moved on?

I replied, I think you would look stupid if you didn't. Kind of desperate he would settle on you, or things wouldn't work out...and you would be the fall-back girl. Who wants that? I mean really, chances are, he is probably a tool...and the girl he is talking to will see that, unless she is a walking cum dumpster with no intelligence whatsoever. Even if by some odd chance, there isn't another girl, I think it's an insult that after you took him back, he has the ball sack to ask you for space. If by some chance, that was me...she would have just signed her walking papers. "You want space, I got space for ya!!!"

My advice, give it to him. Only that space should be forever. Because believe me when I tell you, this ship has sailed, and you are holding on to the past, and not the current situation. Maybe he is doing nothing wrong, but maybe it's you. Maybe you are suffocating the life from him and the relationship; he needs to get away from you. Who wants to have a relationship, where all you do is fight? Maybe, you are not the girl you once were. Maybe you suffocate him because you know this, and you are trying to stifle him from meeting anyone else and leaving you like he did before. Maybe, just maybe...you outgrew each other. Maybe he needs you to set him free, if you love someone, you might just have to love him enough to set him free if that's what he wants and needs. At this point, he would only being staying because he feels badly, or he doesn't think he could do better. Would you really want him after knowing that? If so, what does that say about you?

In closing, there are three sides to every story, Your side, his side and the truth. That's why I needed to place some blame on you. Somewhere in the middle of it all, lies the truth. The glaring thing that came out of this, is he left you before. The best revenge in this situation is this, work on yourself. Prove to him, and to yourself, that you can do it without him. That you, were the better option he can't have back. The only thing that matters at this point is how you two act for the kid. To move on without trying to destroy one another. If only for the kid you two made when you were in love, or in lust.

What's Space ?

Are the sexes so different, that we have different meanings for the infamous request “I need some space”?

Many times the woman’s definition of "I need space" is different from the man’s definition of this request. So it's not rocket science to figure out why women are confused when a guy puts that out there. When women are in committed relationships, very seldom are they looking for space, anything but.

Now that is not to say that you don’t have your women players out there looking to have a good time, while trying to hold down a relationship on the sneak.

For the most part, women don't ever want to give their man too much time to think of a reason why he shouldn't be committed to her. So if your woman was to tell you that she needs her space, what is it she is asking for exactly? I think it's a safe bet to say, she is weighing her options. Space can mean that she needs time to think about what she’s doing with a guy like you and whether or not the relationship is worth her time. Maybe you were the timeshare during a lonely period of her life.

I need space can simply mean...get out of my face and out from up my ass, meaning you might be a little too attached for her liking.

Needing space sometimes means that she needs time to be away from the stress of the relationship and just needs some “her” time. That's what they would tell you. 'Me' time means, I want to be single, but I am not sure. I need space so that I can figure that out, all while leaving you twisting in the wind.

Last but not least, I need space can mean that she is trying to get your attention by scaring you into thinking that she might not want to be with you. Using the threat to get more out of you than you were giving before. Maybe the relationship has gone on long enough, and now she needs to know she is in it for the long haul. The threat of space, might just get the ring she was looking for, or, the answer she has been going over in her mind. Will he ask me at all, or will I be that long term girlfriend who never got it, while the next bitch gets my ring?

I need space can basically mean a whole lot nothing at all, or a whole lot of insecurity.

On the flip side, men don't ask for space unless, A...There is an option they are interested in. B... You are so far up his ass, you know what he had for a snack earlier that day. C... He is ready to put an end to what has been a debate going on in his head for awhile. You see, men don't need the threat of space to get more out of you, because getting more out of you has never been a problem. Men don't have to wait for the ring. So we don't have that issue. And space, just means go find a hobby, I love being with you, but not every fucking second of the day. Any way you spell it out, space, is never a good thing.

NAKED!!!

Basil

Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater, blah, blah, BLAH!

Do you think that's true, or are you bitter and need to tell yourself that because you don't have any other answers?

Let me be the first to give you the NAKED truth...Yes, he or she cheated. They betrayed a trust and now, you are a bitter little pill about the whole thing. But let's not become a cliche', and start ranting about cheaters, and how "Once a cheater, always a cheater". Sure, be angry...but you are missing the glaring fact, that he or she, wasn't it for you, or they wouldn't have. They did you a favor, because, do you really want to be with someone who cheats first, breaks up later?

I know, I know...You want answers, why do people cheat?

Well, there is not just one reason...depends on the sex. No, not sex lives, although, that is one of the reasons people cheat, they are not getting laid. But what I meant was the sex, male or female. Men, tend to cheat for very different reasons. Men are simple creatures...there is no mystery to the sex, although to women...we as men, are a science they have yet to master. That is true, because you have yet to learn to think like us, and not a woman. It just might be dangerous for you to even do so. But men cheat for the simplest reasons you could ever imagine. Why?

They just couldn't say no!!!

It's the truth...men just can't turn away the opportunity. Most guys have only heard about the sex lives their friends have had, or what they see on TV. For men, it's almost an urban legend. The hot new girl at work, she only fucks the boss...right? Or, the girl on the business trip...that doesn't really happen? Auhh, but it does, and until men are faced with the opportunity...they are not lying when they say they wouldn't cheat. You will hear men deny it, even catch attitude when generalized about being a dog, like every other guy. But what's he supposed to say?

Yeah, honey...I do love you, but, I am only as faithful as my options?

No, he's not going to say that, he is going to make you feel as secure about his commitment to you as he possibly can...because he doesn't know the future any more than you do. You might be married til death do you part, or until some other girl's legs part. I get the feeling sometimes, women think it was a plot from day one. Lure them in, give the woman a false sense of security, then bring in the new babes. For guys who cheat on their wives, it was as much a surprise to the guy, as it was to the wife. I think women give men too much credit a lot of the time. We really aren't that clever, not that some men aren't. Some are masters of the game. But really, men are as stupid as we are when we leave the porno in the DVD player..."I don't know how that got there?"

Men are always going to be weak to women with amazing bodies and a sexual appetite that she can verbalize. Men, just can't say no, not all men...there is a very very small number of guys who make a commitment, and won't budge. But even they have a weakness, a weakness I would love to put to the test, when they have no idea they are being tested...watch them fall under the pressure. I know that's mean, but I just always have to be right...and I know I am. <---my reality TV show idea... lol

It's my version of Punk'd...call it, Bust'd. Right when the guy is about to cheat, the wife jumps out and screams, BUST'ed...that's when I come out like Ashton, right behind her. lol

For most guys, it's not a matter of being faithful, but a matter of how many options they have. Look at a rockstar, or a rap artist...actors. They all have options, and that's why they move from commitment to commitment. Brad had Jennifer, did a movie with Angelina...Marriage over. Look at Jon and Kate, plus eight. The guy suddenly got a little bit of fame, and he was dipping it in every option he could, plus the nanny.

If you ask some women, that's because they are dogs...pigs and whatever name you can think of as an insult. But that's anger talking...bitterness that you weren't enough...weren't enough to turn away the options. It is a hard pill to swallow, but sometimes, we are just not enough, doesn't matter how hard you try.

It's not just about options, it's about staying young, by changing what's old around you.

Other men cheat, well...because the wife got old...physically, and mentally. She is nothing like the girl he married...she dresses differently...wears her hair differently. She is insecure about her own immortality. Maybe a little bitchy. Simply put, guy meets a girl, who reminds him of the wife he use to be in love with, and in lust with. Love loses its luster, when the lust fades...don't lose sight of that very important fact.

On the flip side, women cheat for more complicated reasons.


For women...this is where it gets tricky. Young girls cheat, because well, they are young and probably shouldn't be in a relationship. I tell my younger cousins all the time, from 17 to 25, be single...screw being in a relationship, they just hold you down. From school, from life, from friends. From going places. I see it all the time, kids trying to be adults when they have no business doing so. But that's because society confuses them. Young people want to get laid, just like everyone else. But society dictates that you should be in a commiment, that commitment sex is better...religion tells us to wait till we are married. You have teens, having babies and getting married, before they even know what they are getting into. So of course you are going to heve a break down in relationships, and when it breaks down, wolves like myself, sneak in the back door. Age is the major reason cheating exists.

Wrong guy, wrong time.

Sometimes, it's as simple as being with the wrong guy, yet not wanting to be alone. And then someone comes along, that rattles everything right down to the foundation of your family, and relationship. You might even push it away at first, but curiosity gets the better of us, almost every time.


Last but not least - PEOPLE cheat, because something is missing from the one who promised to be everything we needed. Men stop dating women, once we have them. Women become full time mommies before they have their first child. He is called the husband. The sex, the passion, all disappear over time, but the woman's sex drive doesn't. In fact, it goes up, and men's penis's start to go down, and stay down. But women won't leave or stray just because of that, they might talk shit about him to her BFF. But she won't cheat. They cheat, when the romance leaves and is forgotten. When they feel neglected and taken for granted. They cheat with the guy friend, who always listens, who plays the part she wishes the husband played.

Some women, well, they just cheat like guys do, because she could. Because the opportunity presented itself. I once interviewed a happily married woman, who had a great sex life, great husband and father. Yet, she felt she needed someone else when she got bored, to keep her marriage fresh and new. She was content, and felt strongly that her hubby would never find out, and as of today, he still hasn't.


I have slept with all three female examples. After me, they left their husbands and boyfriends...eventfully met someone else and are happy, and not cheating. Give someone happy, and they won't cheat. So, the idea of, once a cheater, always a cheater...created by angry women who hate the fact that someone they trusted, and loved...betrayed them. I cheated in high school...yet, my whole eight year relationship, I never cheated once. It's not a science.

In closing, what I come away with is this...people make mistakes, in people. Over age, over not really getting to know who they are with. Over not living a good single life, before they make a commitment. I know guys who cheated on the wife. Married a second time, and are as happy as they ever were in the first marriage. Same for women. Then there are those, who are just not meant to be tied down. And you know what, it took a few broken hearts to realize it. That's life. But I understand why some people need to believe cheaters will always be cheaters...But you can say the same thing to those ex-boyfriends who spent years with you, and never gave you a ring, but did so to the next girl, under a year. Bitterness...NAKED!!!

Basil Latorre

Dating Naked

The Proposition...One Night Role-Play

Dating Naked
Writer: Basil Latorre
Topic: Roleplay/Rape Fantasy

My time online, I have seen it all and just about heard it all. I have even been propositioned.

Most of the time, being propositioned for sex is a good thing if you are a single, horny guy on the prowl for no-string's attached girl-"friends." I mean, most men are, but some won't admit to that fact. Truth is, every single guy is up for that...with the right non-committal girl of course. They just don't make enough of those girls after college. After college, girls tend to start looking for the serious guy. Non-committal girls are the rarity, so when you find one...enjoy her, it won't happen a lot.

When I first signed up for Myspace... some time in 2004, early '05, I was friend-requested by this one girl who enjoyed reading my lame, boring old blogs I had just posted. This was before I figured out this blogging thing. Who am I kidding, I still haven't figured it out! But she liked it. This is where I learned Myspace was full of interested women looking for fun flirting...and of course, love. I was more interested in the fun and flirting. Love was a disease I wasn't interested in catching. I learned pretty fast that it was spreading-like Swine flu. Thank God I had the H1N1 vaccination called the recent ex-girlfriend to remind me I didn't want any part of that.

This girl wasn't looking for her next hit of love crack on Myspace...she was looking for her next hit of E, ME!!

It was all heavy flirting and innuendos from the start. That's how it always starts. You start out with small doses of flirting...where it leads to more intense, more in your face kind of flirting. Pretty soon, you are talking dirty and what you want to do to her, followed by her reply of filth and what she is going to do to you in return. It was great, she wanted love and a relationship about as much as I did. I thought it could be all smoke and mirrors, but the more we talked, I got the idea she just wanted to get it pounded and cum a lot. We did a little photo sharing...phone sex. She was really wild, with the pulling my hair stuff, push me around, but I didn't think anything of it, some girls like it that way. So, I told her I would grab the back of her neck, bend her over and finger her from behind...She loved it, the more aggressive I got, the more she got into it.

After awhile, I began to learn that she really wasn't, or couldn't be satisfied sexually. And like any guy, we all think we can be the one to give it, and give it to her good.

I know what you girls are thinking. Where have I heard that before?

What are we supposed to say though ladies?

No, you're right, probably can't fuck you retarded, let me hit it anyway? That's hot...but again, like all guys, I really did think I could. At this point in my life, I had already tried and been having sex long enough where I knew where I was king, and where I needed help. And let's face it, we all think we have the magic wand for a cock...hocus pocus, YOU have multiple orgasms. Abra cadabra - SQIURT!!!!

I might even be able to convince you I can pull a rabbit out, but that might also scare you. So I will stick with the orgasms.

She was into me, but she still didn't seem convinced, and I really wanted to fuck her now. Even just out of curiosity...what's the worst thing that could happen, I can't? I would just blame her, and go about my business, smirk. I mean that's what us guys do anyway to save face...we blame the vagina not being functional.

So one night, the conversation takes a wild twist. She finally gets curious enough to meet up, I mean we both live in NYC. She starts asking me questions about roleplay, and how aggressive I can be...I mean, what, she wants me to pull hair, throw her around. I got that. She wants a good sport fuck.

But no, for us to have sex, she wanted to know if I would rape her in some funky roleplay craziness. Now I have heard of rape fantasies. But not with an actual stranger. But it gets even more crazy, seems as if this is the only way she can get off...to be punched, surprised and then raped while she tries to fight back.

I said: Whoah Momma - What the fuck are you talking about?

She said: I want you to rape me and hurt me...punch me in the face and fuck me.

I said: Did we have issues as a kid...are you kidding, or just fucking crazy?

She said: Not crazy, I can't get off any other way.

I said: Ok, well, do YOU think I'M crazy, what makes you think I would ever agree to that?

She said: Well, you talk a good game, prove it.

I am imagining me in hand cuffs, crying as they take me away for rape...screaming, she wanted it, I swear.

I said: That takes serious trust...let me ask you, do you do this with everyone, since you can't get off?

She said: Sometimes I go out and do this...with strangers I meet at clubs. You would be surprised how many guys enjoy doing it.

I couldn't get past the idea of jail, and that I really didn't know this girl, or who she was, or was about. And most of all, punching her. Like I said, I can throw you around, on the bed...be forceful. Pull your hair while I control you. But actually punching her...Yikes. I took a pass on the idea of the worst possible outcome. And that was, that she said it wasn't consensual. I am not above playing out a rape fantasy, but that requires trust, and knowing your partner. And signing a letter of consent wouldn't hurt either, for that matter,or talking into a video camera that you agreed to it.

She promptly deleted me after calling me a pussy. I replied with a meow. This is one pussy that will never be behind bars...or wanted by the law, like Kobe Bryant. Kobe may have been guilty of cheating on his wife, but of rape...I seriously doubt it. Roleplay is and can be a lot of fun. But it's not something you can do with a stranger. People shouldn't be thought of as weird for their interests. I have a cousin Sebastian, who by day, is a hard working father of three. But by night...enjoys the fantasy of being a vampire, who goes by the name, Don Dante Della Morte. He likes being around other people who enjoy that culture. I am sure there is vampire fucking to go with it.

I did have one other roleplay reality experience...but that will come in a future reality blog.

So I have to ask, how do you feel about Rape roleplay fantasies?

Do you think she would have cried rape?

Basil LaTorre

Dating Naked.

Just how FAR will You Go...Role Playing?

Well, now that depends...what are we talking about here? Are we talking about playing doctor and nurse, or dressing up as furry animals, and having a furry romp, midday in the park?

I have always thought role play was fun...I mean, it keeps a relationship fresh, while, never really having to go outside the commitment. Just discovering the filth inside the minds of our better halves can be a lot of fun...and might I add, arousing. On the other hand, it can also be an absolute mind fuck if it's something you really aren't into. "You wanna what, wear that...and do what again?"

I am pretty kinky for a 33 old white boy from Brooklyn, NY. I will pretty much try anything, as long as it doesn't make my rectum bleed or put me in drag. I will not be sporting a pretty butterfly thong, as much as some of you are giggling at that idea like third graders at the sound of an oops fart. I am however, up to play the part.

Just tell me what you need...what are we talking about?

How far are you willing to go for someone you love...that is the question. Would you rape someone you love, if they asked you to? That's role play. Would you dress up, and play a part? Would you go out in public, with someone you know everything about, and pretend you didn't know them, like you were cheating?

These examples are the new form of role play. The doctor, yeah..he is out. The school teacher...well, that's still in if you ask me. I always wanted to shtook my teacher.

If your husband wanted you to dress up, as a school girl, in a Catholic school girl's uniform, would you? Should you? Would you think he is secretly thinking about under-aged girls, still in high school?

Would you put on, a pink furry costume of a rabbit?

As much as that amuses me. I have to admit, I have stumbled upon some porn of people playing furries and fucking, and found it hard to look away. I also admit, if my girl came to me, and asked me to wear it, I might look at her funny, say out loud..."you're kidding...right?" But if I knew she was totally serious, as ashamed as I am to admit this, I would be online researching furry costumes.

I say that, because once you open that door, there is no closing it. Who wants to close a door, on something that they have been secretly fantasizing about for God knows how long?

Relationships are far too serious to begin with...it's why men wander. It's why women read books, instead of blowing their husband. Marriages tend to become the house of Mommy and Daddy, and we have to be these role models for our children. Next thing we know, we have become our parents. The parents you make faces at when you think of them getting a quickie and catching them in the act. To prove that, imagine Mom and Dad dressed as furries, getting it on in the park...behind some bushes.

Mind fucked ya, huh?

Some of you are thinking, well...I am not into that. I don't have to worry about that scenario. Me and my other half, are not into role play of any kind. But what if he or she was...but they never told you, until now?

I can tell you right now...behind every relationship, is a secret they have never told you. Don't believe me, ask your spouse in a way that encourages honesty, not hide it. Be open to whatever they might drop on your lap. They might want to spank you...S&M anyone?

Maybe it's one of those things I already mentioned...maybe they want to act like you guys just met, and meet for sex at a hotel on the sneak. Maybe they want to dress up as an adorable, cute, little freaky mouse. Maybe they want you to dress up as their favorite character from Star Wars...Like Han Swallows. What if your husband, like Zack and Miri Make a Porno, wants to make a porno of you two on his own? Just how kinky can you get for the love of your relationship? It might just end up being a catastrophic success.

For the record, I am not really sure if I could wear a furry. But it's open for conversation. But if I was, what furry should I be? It's open for comment, and debate...and STOP laughing...NAKED!!!

Basil La Torre

Quit Blaming the Sex Drives

It's not them, it's you...every couple wants to blame the sex drive, or lack thereof. But how's that helping anyone? Most of all, helping your need to get completely fucked stupid.

Now, now Basil, that's not very sensitive...I know that's what you are thinking. I would gather you are also thinking they probably need Dr. Phil, and a little understanding. I disagree. Sometimes, people need brutal honesty. And with this subject, brutal honesty has never been more important. Now, I have never been married, but I have been in a relationship longer than most marriages last these days.

My relationship lasted a little over eight years...and in that time, we had a few sexless stops along the way. But, it wasn't because I lost my sex drive, and she had one bigger than mine, or vice versa. Because let me tell you, there were plenty of women I would have been happy to fuck into a coma. And I am sure, there were plenty of guy's faces she would have loved to introduce to her vertical smile between her legs. But for whatever reason, we just weren't very into each other.

"Gee, Basil...what were those reasons?"

I hear ya...I said brutal honesty. It was any number of things. She changed her appearance. What appealed to me about her in the beginning, vanished without a trace. Years of silly arguments, over stupid things...also took its toll. Seeing all those little things that irritate you, that weren't so visible in the beginning, didn't help with sex either. The mystery was gone, I'm sure on both sides.

I am sure if you asked her, she probably has a list of any number of things about me. I am far from easy to live with. You add all that up, and who wants to have sex? But more than anything, after awhile, nothing is new anymore. There is nothing new you can bring to the table that keeps it interesting. I love me some eggplant samich, from John's Deli with an olive salad on the side. But if I had to eat it every fucking day, I would get sick of it. But with food, you get to try other things. In a relationship, unless you are a swinger, you don't get to try the girl at work for lunch...and the girl from that store you like to go to, because you know she is there.

She didn't get to taste Johnny Depp, who I know she would have cheated on me for, in a second. It wouldn't have shocked me if she screamed out, ohh, Johnny, during sex...I knew. In the beginning, when we weren't together, before we lived with each other, she used to masturbate to me...sometimes, we had phone sex. Or I would write these dirty, filthy notes to her, letting her know where my mind was at any given moment, and she loved it.

You might be thinking, well, why didn't you just write her some more of those filthy notes?

Because when I wrote them in the beginning, it was inspired...from the heart. Believe me, she brought that to my attention. She kept them, like a proud mother would of her baby photos of her kids. I knew what she was doing, she was reaching out...hinting that she wanted more of that. But it couldn't be asked for, because it wouldn't have been real, like the beginning. She didn't have to ask me in the beginning. I could have made some shit up, just to make her feel good, but how's that fair on my side?

Is that what it becomes...appeasing people?

If you asked me, I would have said, well..grow your hair out again...lose 20 pounds. Be new again, before I found out how you were really like to live with. Dress up again, take those stupid, ugly, over-sized sweaters off. Stop whining about every single thing...God, nothing hot about emotional females. Fuck, stop having drama at work, I don't care...it's not high school, not everyone has to like you. I don't want to go to your family's house, they suck...that's why you moved out so fast and moved in with me. You couldn't wait to get away from them. I'll stop there...I can imagine what you are all thinking.

Wow, thank God they are not together anymore.

Exactly...None of that inspires fucking, or sex. And none of it, has anything to do with sex drives. In saying all that, it wasn't the end of our sex lives together. Sure we still had our moments. But it was more of our way of relieving tension. Release sex. Sex, just to have sex. It wasn't love making, and it sure as hell wasn't romantic. After awhile, you just kind of do things, either for yourself...or as I said before, to appease them. Because we are supposed to. Relationship sex becomes masturbation. Meaning, instead of tugging in the shower, or when they are not home, you kind of just use each other...her vagina, is my hand..my penis...her toy. I mean, they are there, why not, right?

What does all this mean?

Well, it means the lack of sex...more times than not, means bigger problems in other areas, not lack of sex drive. Sex drive is the excuse, so we don't have to say what the real problems are. Sometimes it's all the reasons I wrote about above. Others could be any number of things; feelings for someone else, lust for someone else. Anyway you look at it...it's a warning sign the end is near.

Not if you ask the Dr. Phil's of the world, maybe not Phil himself, but therapists. They will have you believe you can save it. But what are they supposed to say, they want your money. I say this, because after awhile, we are not capable of change on the scales it would take to make things right. We all have that, "love me for who I am" attitude. Don't try to change me, "love me for me, damn it, or not at all." Then some Doctor tells you, "No, change." Justified or not, no one wants to change.

Oh sure, some of us will, because one side might want it more than the other. And unless you are a real, fucked-up case that needs some serious soul searching; the rest, just can't do it for long before resentment kicks in and rears its ugly head. Because, we all just want people to love us for us. Not for what their idea of how we should be, is. I was reading a message board topic, that read, "differing sex drives." And under read this:

"I want it twice a day! She would be happy to go a whole month without touching me." Does this sound familiar?

I thought right away, wow, who's she fucking...because women get hornier with age, not less. Or, how much does she despise looking at him...is he a fat bastard, or does he man-scape or even care? What's the problem there? I seriously doubt it's her drive. Put the guy she likes to masturbate to in the room, and we will see how much her sex drive is the problem. As a guy, I have plenty of women I can get it up for...as women out there, you all have a person who can get it twitching to the point you lose control.

And for those people, where it's really about the sex drive, or lack thereof, those are the people who never had it to begin with...for whatever reason. If you are with a guy or girl who used to fuck you like they couldn't get enough of you, and now, they can't stay far enough away from you. It's not the sex drive, it's YOU.

NAKED!!!!

Basil LaTorre.

Just Ignore What She Says

Dating Naked

Writer: Basil Latorre

Topic: Casual sex

She wants casual sex too, it’s just not her first option...like any salesman, they will take less to get the sale, but if you are willing to pay higher, why lead on to that fact?

The idea behind dating casually, and pursuing someone whose first option is something more serious, is patience. If a woman likes you enough, and has a strong attraction to you, she will sleep with you. But she won't just come out and admit that fact, at least not to you. In the cat and mouse game that is dating...most women live by perceptions. The perception, that she isn't "that girl." Most guys, don't mind being "that guy," just as long as it doesn't hurt their game. So how do the two come together in happily unmarital bliss?

It’s simple, keep her occupied and listening. If you can hold her attention once she knows your intentions, your chances greatly increase. Remember, women are not robots. They want to get laid as much, if not more than you do. If you've ever had the pleasure of listening in on women talk about their sexuality, you will probably have a strong moment of clarity, right as you are done beating off...enjoying the aftermath of an orgasm. Women are silly horny. So the idea that single women, who are looking for that one true thing, will look past the really sure thing, is absurd.

Women are more discrete than men, and in no way, ever want to give a potential husband the idea that she is easy, and that any Tom, Dick and Basil, can get it, or has had it.

Again, it’s the perception factor. I have gotten to know women over the last five years, who I knew were very sexually active, yet told potential new men, that they can't have loveless sex. Meanwhile, they all had a regular guy or two. But in their defense, it’s not an even playing field when it comes to being promiscuous. Having sexual relations with a number of partners on a casual basis for men, is somewhat dirty to women. But, most women won't hold that against them, if, that is, she really likes him. But men, automatically put women in a category they can't climb out of. Most girls, don't want the Rob Dyrdek tag of, "dirty girl."

As a guy, you have to keep in mind, that most girls...hate sleeping alone, I mean HATE it. Not all, there are those who can't wait to kick you out once they are done with you. But more than not, women just hate being alone-period.

So if her potential relationship-well is all dried up, she is going to want something to keep it wet and flowing. That's where you come in, whether she likes it or not. Sometimes, it just happens on its own, with no preparation, or planning behind it. Sometimes, it’s all about being at the right place, at the right time. The rest of the time, it just wasn't going to happen, regardless. Call it sexual fate. Put two people together for a certain amount of time, and chemistry takes over. You just can't be so quick to write her off at the first sign of her being a commitment needy female.

If you do work your way in, remember...women get attached pretty quickly. It’s a rarity they can pull off a healthy sexual relationship. Three or more times and it just starts to happen. Familiarity and comfort just set in...and the next thing you know, it resembles a relationship. If you are lucky enough to get in, be fair in not allowing yourself to give her the comforts of a commitment. Don't become jealous of other things she might be doing...in turn, mind your business. If you start showing jealousy, she will confuse that as you wanting more. And not what it really is.

If you do end up falling for her, make sure you have that conversation...so that she can allow herself to fall with you, or walk away, because that’s just not what it is anymore. You wanted casual, and now...that's what it is for her.

In the same breath, don't treat her like a vagina on the clock. Go out, act as if. Just keep feelings of anything more than a friendship, out of it...Naked!!

Basil LaTorre