Thursday, September 30, 2010

We're Only As Good as Their Options?

Dating Naked
Writer: Basil Latorre
Topic: Relationship/Options

Life is short, and relationships can be short-lived if you begin to take it for granted. Relationships all have expiration dates...At least in this day and age, people have short memories.

What have you done for me lately, isn't that the expression? I like to say, "We're Only As Good as Their Options." It's mean, but it's honest. I mean, that's what we all say we want, right? I wonder how true that really is.

Today, we learn about the failure of relationship values. Let's face it, half of you, never had any to begin with. Another 25% only think they have it, and the other 25% have it for only so long, until the next best thing comes along. I am convinced that's what it is. We all have short memories, and that's okay. It's okay to expect what it is you fell in love with in the first place. It's okay to feel you are being short-changed. It's okay to wish you had a sex life. It’s okay to expect conversation. In saying that, have you ever wondered how it got to the point of living without all of that?

It's easy to figure out why people need options. It’s easier to throw something away, than it is to put it back together; to fix it.

It's easier to fall in love with someone else that reminds you of what you once had. It’s easier to laugh with someone else, than it is to fight with you. It’s easier to have an affair, than it is to ask why we aren’t having sex. Relationships reach a stalemate period. When that happens, both parties weigh their options. Sometimes those options are being researched while still in the relationship. While you are ignoring the problem there is a person trying on your shoes, your clothing, your bed, in turn...your relationship, fits like a glove.

A while back, during the MySpace day's...I blogged about a girl who was having an affair with a guy who was engaged to another woman. There were some very strong comments and opinions about both parties. He was the perfect example of someone who was weighing his options, while having a safe option at home. The fiancé was lacking in the bedroom, so he had someone he can probably get to do anything. Someone who will bed and drop at need; a panty-dropper who is using her vagina to lure your man away from you.

It's a dog eat dog world, everyone is out for what they can get.

If you are wondering, why does he not just be with the girl on the side, let the bedroom disaster go? The girl on the side is lacking too, the only thing she has going for her is that he knows she will bark, and fetch for his pleasure. While she is great to pass the time with, she is not relationship material. If she were, he would break off the engagement, and make her it!!

He will continue to shop around and weigh his options until something comes along that he can't pass up. Until then, he will string along both girls while he is probably testing the market for something better.

If you are in a relationship, and entertaining other offers, you are guilty of doing this very same thing. And without revealing or ratting anyone out; it's happening on social networking sites every single day. MySpace/facebook are the Wal-Mart of options for a lot of us. NO one does unhappy for very long... eventually the laws of average will catch up to you, and if you're not looking...They are.

On the flip side…Grenade Gone Wild. To prove it's about options, I will unveil a story of a grenade who shed her shrapnel...and became datable by options, previously not interested. Now mind you, this girl wasn't fat by any means. I mean, I think she could still look down, and see her vagina...where it's my belief, once you can't look down and see her, you have officially gone, one pound too heavy.

Close your mouths, I said's the same for guys too. Once we can't see over the hill, and see the mushroom cap, it’s time to officially attack the Slimfast shake and start running a mile. Immediately!!!

But getting back to the GGW, this was a person, who wanted a relationship, but couldn't get it...Ohh she could get laid. But no one wanted to stick around and grow old and big with her. Finally one day, she found what she was looking for, a boyfriend...only unlike most girls and guys in a relationship, she didn't put on relationship pounds, she lost some. And that's when guys, previously not interested, started giving her the one true thing she always wanted...Attention.

The more options she had, the less she wanted the guy who looked past her plumpness. Finally, she did what everyone would do in her position. She dumped her boyfriend for quantity, and, not quality...options she never had before. And as much as she preached she wanted a loyal, good -hearted man, who wanted what she the end, she just wanted the men who rejected her. Options give us a false sense of security...although she can get guys; she still can't keep them...because today, she is chronically single.

If you always had options, it’s nothing at all to turn it down. But you have to wonder about those who never did, and what would they do, if suddenly they had something so above their norm, that they could turn it away. In some ways, I think we are all a product of settling...because you just never know. And in saying that, what do you think your partner would do, if something previously unattainable, wanted to be with them. Just how confident are you with the person you are in love with? Are you, only as good as their options?

Topic of conversation: Do you agree, or disagree with the end of my blog? Do you think we are all a product of settling?

Do you think we are only as good as their options?

And just how far would you go, to find out. Would you set your partner on a collision course with someone you know they would find attractive, just to see how they would react?

Would YOU, really want to know?

Dating Naked


Stephanie Faris on September 30, 2010 at 5:17 PM said...

Relationships, like everything in life, are work. You get out what you put into them. In the beginning, everyone is working to win the other person over, but as time goes on, people become complacent in relationships. It's far too easy to take each other for granted...and THAT is when things become dangerous. I think it was some Chris Rock movie where he said, "When both of you stop caring that you're not having sex, that's the most dangerous time in a relationship." That's when someone else swoops in and steals a person away.

I believe that some people look for a safety when they want out of a relationship. They might want out for a while but they fear being alone. So they won't leave until someone comes along that they can jump right in a relationship with. They might even start that relationship before ending the previous one. I call that "overlapping" and it's a sad fact of human nature, I think.

Anonymous said...

normally i would fully disagree with you. however, i somewhat agree. people settle. many have settled. however, at some point we get tired of living a lie and so begins the search. people settle and so are always on the prowl for greener pastures. after all, there is always a pasture that is greener. however, not everyone is searching. pretend you are dating the girl of your dreams. she makes you feel like no one else in the world does. she challenges you, supports you, takes care of your needs and on top of that she is funny and smart and beautiful. when she walks into the room she takes your breath away. and you can dream of yourself growing old with her. would you, or anyone with a love like that, risk it in hopes that the grass is greener. i think not. men and women only have options because somewhere they settled,their needs aren't met, and they aren't happy. everyone wants to be happy and most people want to share it with someone. and so explains the search. but if you or anyone finds that someone you have spent your whole life hoping for then no matter the options that stroll only see the smiling face walking toward you from the other side of the room.

soozie said...

the way i see this whole options open thing, is exactly the way you wrote it.
because i've been that girl on the receiving end, of a man who was keeping his options open, and apparently, basil you've enlightened me, that i must be the bark and fetch kinda girl, not the relationship kind.
cuz, for some reason they always go back to what was behind door number 1.

DianeJ on November 11, 2010 at 3:47 AM said...

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Anonymous said...

Excellent article! I do think a lot of people settle. it is harder if you do not have options and will cling to anything that gives you attention. I have seen too many women do it.