Why I Should Never Drink & Date

DATING NAKED
Topic: Reality/Sex

Have you ever drunk dialed your parents for a booty call? Well I did...just one of the reasons I should NEVER drink and date.

Back in my bartending days, I was at my worst as a human being. Yeah, I was out for ass, I was cocky. Sometimes rude. Yeah, I knew this, as did most of the girls I was hooking up with. Let's not pretend that was a bad thing. Young, dumb and full of cum...it was our twenties, if we couldn't have fun then, when would we?

We all have a booty era. My booty era went and came like most, in a fog of drunken stoopers, and, "Who the hell are you, and how did you get in my bed. Wait, where am I, this isn't my bed?" Sound familiar? Yeah, I had them too.

It's like a drug problem for some...it's on and off. We all try to go on the right path, but we take a wrong turn down "Booty Call Lane".

One night I was working and drinking...Not a good combo, but when you're behind the bar, it's kind of like being part of the party. So me and Dave, the other bartender on that night were evaluating the potential in the room. It's objectifying women at its best, or worst depending how many drinks you've had. <---looks up innocently. Truth be told...I only became a bartender for few reasons. Good pay, great hours and picking up girls. Only this night was horrible. Seemed like every girl that came in, came in with a boyfriend, or already had someone's penis in mind. It's like being hungry, and everyone else is eating, and you can only watch. It's a mind fuck. Finally, I start talking to this one girl who kept coming back, and she is all into me. I got the feeling she wanted a little Basil on her arm for the end of the night. Meanwhile, my friend Dave also had his mojo working, talking to a girl who bared a striking resemblance to Chelsea Clinton.

Mind you, I don't think Chelsea was hot, but I always wanted to bang her. Kind of like banging the boss' daughter...only this would be banging the Commander and Chief's daughter. I still get a stiff feeling at the thought of her. But maybe it's a good thing Dave was working her, I swear if I was sleeping with her, I would yell out Chelsea, who's your daddi...make her play in my oral office, playing swallow the leader. But that's just me, I am a little weird.

So, I am basically paying for her drinks at this point...and we are laughing, talking it up, I am surely going home with her...right? Wrong!!!

In comes her boyfriend...who she introduces me too, like haa douche bag. You got me half in the bag, and now he gets to take me home. Of course, she doesn't say that, but I am for sure thinking it. And no sooner do I look over, but Dave is having a laugh at my expense. No new girls are coming in, Dave's Chelsea C. is for sure leaving with him...a little first daughter role-play for that fucker. Yes, I know it's not really Chelsea, but I am sloshed. And I struck out, going home to my hand.
On the cab ride home, I started looking up possible booty call hook ups in my phone, you know sure things. Girls who understand what it is...maybe don't like to sleep alone, maybe unhappy girlfriends. Mind you, these are the old cell phones, no texting except a limited message you had to choose from. Ok, so I go through the list. Now I have to make sure I don't offend anyone. I am trashed, still drinking like a fish, so I am probably not my nicest. It's after 4 am at this point. But there are some sure bets who love them some Basil...right? Ummmm yeah. Sitting on my sofa, I call this one girl and a guy answers. he says:

Guy: Hello?
Basil: Wow, she wouldn't be up for a booty call right now would she? <--I'm such a dick, and so drunk...told you I was rude.Guy: WHAT, WHO IS...
Basil: Click... NEXT!!!
The guy actually star 69's me
Guy: WHO THE FUCK IS THIS?
Basil: Dude, did you fuck her?
Guy: WHAT???
Basil: Dude, what's the problem, did you fuck her yet?
Guy: YEAH.
Basil: Well you are doing better than me tonight...now if you will excuse me, I am trying to get laid...and I hang up.
I was still drinking at this point, and I am getting stupider but the sip. I made many many phone calls, then, I get desperate. I take a shot at girl who I really didn't like, but she cheated on her boyfriend for me, so maybe she will feel for me and surrender a mercy lay. Something, anything at this point. I am drunk, stupid and horny as hell, I would take a tug at this point. Hell, just flash me, I will do the rest.

So I call.
Girl: Hello?
Basil: You alone?
Girl: It's almost five in the morning!
Basil, Yeah I'm, I just got home from work, I was thinking about you. <---- LIE!!!Girl: Aww, you were?
Basil: Of course, all night, can I come over?
Girl: Yeah, but I have my period, but we can snuggle?
Basil: Sigh, nahh, forget it.
Girl: Why?

Basil: Because if I don't get laid, I am going to hump the palm of my hand.
Girl: Wait, is this a booty call phone call?

FUCK, What to do, I could lie, or just fess up and hope she respects the truth.

Basil: Yes, I am really drunk and horny, so I am calling you.
Girl: What kind of girl do you take me for?
Basil: WHAT DO YOU MEAN? You had a fight with your boyfriend, used it as an excuse to come over and fuck me, what, now you have morals?
Girl: Well that's never going to happen again, I want someone serious.
Basil: Wow, you're not even that hot to be so offended. <---- Wow, did I just say that out loud?Girl: WHAT...??? Fuck YOU!!!!"

And she hangs up. "I GIVE UP!!! I ended up surfing cable to see if some bullshit porn was on for some self love and fell asleep with my Moses, parting my imaginary pink sea of vagina. Maybe even Chelsea. When I woke up, I must have called every girl in my phone, because my phone was full of messages, so who knows how many more couldn't leave me a nasty message. Turns out that guy called back again, so did a few girls who would have been interested. But even worse than anything I could have done. I woke up to a message from of all people, My Mom. Turns out I left her a dirty message on her phone. She said, STOP DRINKING, you are a pig and these girls you talk to, YOU are going to catch something.

Hahaha, My poor mom. I miss her. She had a long talk with me, and asked me when I became one of those guys. I said, I don't know. didn't you have a time in your life where you just didn't think. She replied: !Yeah, I had you!" OUCH...WTF MOM.

Point taken...I will admit, I am so much more fun when I am drunk, but I leave a lot to be desired at the end of the day. Sober, I went, and hung out with this girl for lunch, where she had me for dinner. Was so much easier to just be real, go out...have conversation and let the moment happen on its own. But it didn't stop there...more stories to come on why I should never Drink, and Date at the same time...Naked

Ok, readers, and worst drunk dial stories. Drunk texts... leave a comment, or I will drunk dial your mother.

Basil...Dating Naked.

Are We Faking the Friendship?

By Basil LaTorre
Dating Naked Online
Topic: Dishonesty

And sneaking in the back door, Do we sometimes use friendship's just to get closer to another more desired goal?

Depending on whom you ask the answers will vary, but the truth is, it happens more often than you think. We, as human beings, sometimes go through the back door when we are being blocked from the front. What does that mean? It means sometimes the people we want are in committed situations, and using the up-front approach is just not going to get it done. So instead of walking in the front door, and causing messy drama, we quietly sneak to the back, and use friendship in the hopes that we can take advantage of the "Insider's Information Act"to break up the relationship that seemed happy right up until the moment we arrived on the scene.

I know. It sounds horrible and not very nice at all, but honestly, can any of you say it's not true?

You can say "no, I never did it", but you can't say it's not happening. As humans, we are selfish by nature, and I can't deny my own guilt in my past. I honestly didn't even realize I was doing it until it was already in motion, but it's obvious in the advice we give and the poor way we act as friends. I had not even thought about this topic. That was until I had a great conversation with a former writer months back. She had her sights set on a guy who was not available. So she took another course of action. She became his friend with designs on eventually getting him for herself. She let the friendship develop out of her own attraction to the guy.

In some cases, guys and girls can be the best of friends; in other cases, any true platonic relationship is almost impossible. It all depends on how the friendship got started and whether or not there is a physical attraction involved, be it one sided or mutual, and more importantly on the personalities of the individuals at hand. With the likes of social networking such as MySpace and Facebook it's become an even more thought provoking question than ever before. These sites are giving us all a new way to see and speak to people we ordinarily would never have met before. We all have a friends list with that one friend in question, don't we? All women have that one friend their boyfriend or husband has a sneaky suspicion about, maybe a co-worker, but whoever that FRIEND is, you know it's the foreplay and attention you won't admit to.

Everyone denies it, but unless you are a blogger why else are you adding strangers into your little cyber world and calling them friends? What made them pick you to send a friend request to? Why did you pick them? Are we faking the friendships to get to know new people, and why? Why do we need more, and more importantly, from someone who potentially has other intentions? Maybe not everyone, but how can we really know? Is "friendship" a convenient label we give to distract from suspicion? Study the human behavior and you will for sure figure it out. Everyone believes they are the exception. That they can handle the human connection between two people and remain "just friends". And it might have been true at the start, but humans are humans. They tend to develop feelings very fast, and at that point, it becomes a battle of what to do about it and when. I can say that, because I know plenty of girls with that one big secret. I know things that if I named names, shit storms would be brewing across America.

If you want an admission of guilt, I myself have done this. Befriended females who really kind of knew what I wished would happen. Why else did I choose YOU to be MY friend . . . why? Because we can go shoot pool together? Or maybe shoot each other up with some paintballs? Maybe I can back you down on the basketball courts. No. I was attracted to you. I wanted to be in your presence in the hopes that you would feel the same connection. And no, it's not always sex related you suspicious women. Sometimes, we just feel something strong and so we advise you and want to be there for you. It's why you begin to trust in us, when in truth, it should remain private and between you and the person you made a commitment to. But you want to believe that it's just a friendship...some people call that a dick in the jar or greener grass. It's emotional cheating.

Have you ever had a friend with benefits situation, but really wanted more? Did you sell the idea that you were ok with just being casual…only you weren't?

This is a common friendship Fake-A-Roo that goes on between the sexes all the time, and both sexes for different reasons. Women, well, they wear their hearts on their sleeves. They want what they want, and think if the guy just gave it a chance, that the sex will turn into the relationship you really want. Guys, well...we are douche noodles. We know for us to get it in, we sometimes have to give up something we don't want to lose, our freedom. Guys view this as a fair trade. You get your commitment, so that you can have sex without being that girl, and us guys give up the other girls that were making you crazy and stopped you from sleeping with us to begin with. Either way, it all boils down to the same thing, dishonesty and fake intentions.

Have any of you ever watched MTV's The Real World? If you have, did you ever notice how a guy or girl comes into the "real world" situation in a relationship that was supposed to be untouchable? Well, that was until they made it to the "real world", so to speak. A few shots of tequila, and some one on one with your favorite roommate/"friend", and your relationship turns from untouchable to what am I going to do? And then finally, the break up millions tune in for. SMUG-I Got your Girlfriend.

That's social sites, and that's the real world, when you are dealing with the chemistry between humans who all want the same thing. It's unfair to those who are genuine, but who ever really knows who's genuine? Do you think the douchie bags own their douchebaggery? Does a cheating slutty wench own their shit, ever? They wear their lies like a mask, and they don't take it off. So is it really so shocking that people fake friendships to get closer to their secret desires to be with you?

Ask yourself, have you ever used a friendship, or a sexual relationship to get closer to the one you desire? ARE YOU FAKING THE FRIENDSHIP? I have... GUILTY!!!

Basil...Dating Daked

Unhealthy Relationships.....Run For The Hills!

Dating Naked

Guest Columnist: Nicky

Topic: Toxic Relationships.

You are in a miserable relationship....you are not happy and definitely not being treated the way you should be.

SO WHY IN GODS NAME ARE YOU STILL IN THE RELATIONSHIP?

This seems like such a simple answer and solution, you get out as fast as you can and don't look back right? That would be the right thing to do for your own sanity but why do so many women stay in clearly unhealthy relationships? We have all been in one of these hazardous situations haven't we?

1) You caught your partner cheating and you took them back.
2) You cheated on them and never told them.
3) You were involved in an physically or emotionally abusive relationship and continued to take the abuse.
4)You walked on eggshells for the entire relationship, due to an over critical partner and were afraid to say something that would upset them.
5) You played tug of war with your ex getting back together and breaking up numerous times. They start seeing someone else in between and continue to toy with you by calling you and telling you they care about you.

These are examples of some totally hazardous relationships and yet we have all been there..why? I have been talking to men and women about this topic in preparation for this article and the answer seems to be the same.

Most people are stuck in a bad relationship not because they want to but because they are hanging onto what the relationship used to be. Many people don't wanna admit that they have failed or that they did something to cause this toxic partner to treat them this way. That somehow it was their fault and they deserved it!

You look at the person that is using you as a doormat and suddenly you only see them as what they were...and don't want to let go of that. The truth is that a toxic relationship is just that....harmful and damaging to ones self esteem!

You see yourself as someone who cannot do any better or that you cannot live without this person...even though they are clearly not doing a damn thing for you!
The truth is....None of these examples have a good outcome!

The tough part is to tell yourself that this is not healthy and you need to walk away.
Take it from someone who knows and has been there.....
When you meet the right person, you just know...
Every relationship has its ups and downs and requires effort, but a relationship that is constantly in turmoil and turned upside down is not one you need to be in.....

Head for the hills and don't look back.....

Nicky in The City

Stripping Down Dating Sites

Dating Naked
Writer: Basil Latorre
Topic: Dating Sites

I can’t figure out if dating in my thirties is bad, or dating in Pennsylvania just blows or if it’s the shitty attitude everyone seems to have about dating.

But for sure, dating sites are sucking the life out of serious-minded women all over. For sure, dating sites have women becoming borderline bi-polar, because they can't seem to tell the good from the bad. I may not be an expert, but I can strip it down, just enough too give you a better understanding of what's out there, and why it's going so badly.

First, it's not just you ladies, it’s men too. All those self-promoting nice guys who are pissed that you all say you want nice guys, yet they can't get a reply or a minute of your time. Deep down, all these self-absorbed men, who know they have better jobs have less of a chance to ever have a better offer on the table, meaning they won't cheat. Knowing that the only thing they have going for them, is this whole nice guy thing, yet they are left with unread, deleted emails. All because your headline on your dating profile read,

"Are there any good ones left?"

See, in that...I don't assume I am, "one of the good ones." I am someone's good one, just not everyone I date. To many, I am a huge disappointment in one form or another. Either I didn't deem you relationship material, or did I fit into your plans. The biggest complaint women have of men and dating sites, is that they are all faking their intentions...and just trolling for pussy. Now that is very true. It's also the most obvious statement ever made...you mean, men are thinking with their dick, really? Who would have thunk it!!

Reality ladies, all men have that thought, even the self-promoting, self-absorbed nice guy's, want to get laid.

But, not every guy who started out promising and didn't work out was player playing a game on you. Sometimes, it's just not there. Sometimes, it takes trial and error, to find out it was a short term, time share situation. And yes, if after sex...men still don't feel a connection, they move on, sometimes without much conversation at all. Because honestly, who wants to rip you apart and make you feel bad. Sometimes, saying nothing or very little, works best...and who are you kidding, it’s women who invented that. As much as that offends you, it's no different than that guy you were talking to, who you declared no more than just a friend. You think he liked that?

So you are wrong, not every guy who didn't work out, was not looking for serious. He just didn't see you as his serious. You win some, you lose some, but you move on. I can't say that my ultimate goal has been accomplished either, so if that's failure, I am failing miserably too, right along with you. Whatever the case may be, my love life is lacking the love, filled with lots of the lust. Bringing me to the biggest complaint most women have of men on dating sites.

"Tired of the games, tired of the bar scene...and most of all, done with the drama." I swear, you all have the same things to say.

At one time, Dating sites were new and viable ways to meet new people. It gave us more variety, more options so that we can better screen out dates. We could talk to multiple people at once, and weed out the ones who we would just end up wasting their time. Then, like everything else...it caught on.

Bar scene drop outs: So you thought by not going to the bar that your level of finding Mr. Serious, Mr. Right would greatly increase? I know, your friend told you some story how she found her new fiancé on match, and how happy she is, so you thought you could drink her Kool-aid...and sign up and find your man?Problem with that is, you're not her friend, and you signed up for the new freebie site. I mean why pay for it when you can just sign up for the free one. The thing with that is, so did all those guys from the bar you got tired of meeting. Most dating sites are overrun by pussy-trolling, booty-call looking guys. They probably out number more serious minded guys by ten to one.

So if you are tired of the bar scene, why are you on the new biggest singles bar in your neck of the woods?

Game on: Games, just saying you are tired of them, makes me think you have too much baggage and kind of invite the games. Let me be frank, when a douch-ie bag reads that, the first thing they see is their next victim. The next girl who is either too stupid, or too naive to see his game coming. You invite it; by showing you have a bad history of it. Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, and I'm a moron, assume the pos-ish, because you deserve taking it in the ass. Jerk-offs are going to contact you, it doesn't matter how bitchy you sound...you are inviting it by daring the next one. Just learn from your mistakes, shut your mouth, and troll for a husband. Besides that...it's a turn off.

Drama-Lama: It's so funny; it’s always the people who cry out they hate the drama that always seem to have it in their lives. Yet they never seem to understand why. You fucking trolls who date married men...who have wife drama, who have girlfriend drama, who have stalkers...it’s not them, it’s you! It's almost the same thing as those people who hate the games. You don't hate the drama, you love it. You only hate it, when it gets out of control. You are the same mindless cum-dumpsters who need that attention...because that attention is all you have going for you. Just last week, and I won't name names. I had some guy contact me, who also tried friend requesting me just so that he could ask questions about a girl he was slamming at one time.

I knew what it was right away, and contacted my female friend. Turns out he is some married dude that she was a panty dropper for. And he wanted to know what my involvement was with her. That right there, drama...because you allow it and I don't. It's hideous, it's boring...it’s time consuming backwards bullshit. We as potential men in your life can't have anything to do with that. And who's going to take you seriously. If you have to say it out loud, maybe you need to change yourself before the change begins in the men you are going to potentially date.

As a guy, reading profiles, those are the ones I try to avoid. Angry, victimized sociopaths who are probably just as much of the player, as the guys she is claiming to avoid.

If you want to pick out the bad from the good, then stop reading all the emails men send you. Seriously, and do your own search. Contact the guys who interest you. By what they have to say in their profile, what they do... and what they are looking for. But most of all, you know they had no bad intentions, because it was you who found them. You are not just one of the hundred emails guys spam to women a day. Auhh, you didn't know that?

That's the secret men will never admit. Guys don't contact one person at a time. They write out a message, a message that seems to get replies...and copy and paste it to the best looking women in their area, and surrounding areas. Out of the one hundred emails, they are lucky if they get ten replies. But that's nine or ten more than they would have gotten if they just sent out one, to that one girl who they really put time into reading. Now, if you want to read a few emails from someone who is interesting to you, who fits what you think you are looking for, go ahead. But understand, you are just one of many he is waiting to hear back from. I am sure women do the same, or close to it.

Gold diggers, attention whores...boy toy seekers, who only contact the shirtless meatheads who have jersey shore haircuts. There is a girl on my page, who talks to as many guys as she can on her dating site and adds them to her Facebook...and she has like four thousand friends. She is an attention whore...Why? Because the more men she has, the better she feels about herself. It's not to be taken seriously...you might bump uglies with her, but she is not to be taken seriously. It’s all a game and we are all players in it. We are playing the field. Both men and women.

In closing, stay away from the newly divorced males and females. Although they are different creatures, they both share one common thing: they are not looking to jump right back into serious. Women might say they are, but take it from me, they are not. The first sign of anything commitment like, and they are out the door, and on their divorce papers, like it’s a magic carpet ride.

You have to remember, these are people who may have been married for ten or more years. Dating sites, and Facebook...and options, are all new to them. They will explore it all, before they commit again. If you are okay with that and know that they will not be closing out their profiles, while dating you, then enjoy. But I met a girl, who told me about her situation with a divorced guy...and she couldn't figure it out. He was introducing her to his kids, taking her out on his boat down the shore, and spending all kinds of money on her. Enough for her to close out her profile, and pay attention to just him, only he didn't. He was still testing the market...when she asked me about it. I asked her two questions...How long has he been divorced and how long was he married. She said he has been divorced for a year, and was married sixteen years.

And there's your answer, 16 years ago, there weren’t dating sites like we have today. He has money, and he has options, and options he will explore before he takes the dive down commitment lane. As long as girls are emailing him, he will explore it. Remember, it’s a dating site, not a relationship site. There is a difference. Some people want to date, and other's date for a commitment. Make sure you ask the prerequisite questions that are important to you...and remember, it’s not a guarantee, just a tool, full of tools.

Basil

Dating Naked

You Get What You Paid For

"Write about guys cheating on their other half. Instead of just breaking it off, why do they stay & continue to cheat? I'm blessed with the gift of always finding out, but too many of my friends have been through it. So tell me, oh wise one! What's the deal?"

Dating Naked

Writer: Basil Latorre

Topic: Cheating

Let's not pretend, you didn't know that already.

Let's say we lived in a perfect world, and we don't. But let's say we did...there would be no cheating, no lying. No secrets and most of all, no mistakes. But we don't live in that world. Not only that, it's not men that cheat, genders don't cheat, people cheat and for different reasons. I am all for the school of...break up before you cheat. It's one of my rules. But let's stay on that male-hating, male-blaming thing we have going here in this question.

For every guy who is cheating on his other half, there is a female helping with that problem.

Some girl, who wants what you have, doesn't even care that he can do it to her later. She just wants what she wants, and what you have. Women are part of the problem. And don't give me the, "Well, what if the girl didn't know?" They know.

But to answer the question of why, there are a bunch of answers. One answer is of the guy who wants to be selfish, and explore what is happening, but he doesn't want to destroy or hurt you. Another answer is...You have a man, who again, wants to explore his selfish side, but doesn't want to rock the boat and create a fire storm. An angry wife or girlfriend, can create havoc...because we have all heard the saying, a woman scorned; hide the money and knives...lol.

And then there is the most hated. the really selfish guy. The one who before he leaves you, and tells you the truth, he needs to make sure that the girl he is cheating on you with, is going to be there after you. All men have heard the stories of that girl we left our wives for, who didn't want him as much as she did while he was taken. That guy who is like, "But I left my wife and family for you...what do you mean it's over?" The guy who proves my theory, that you are only as good as his options.

Then we move to the part of this blog where I make sense of the title. "You Get What You Paid For"

The part that says, you know what...you knew what you were getting, when you got it. Half of all the girls who get cheated on, knew their man was capable of it. Those girls who love a guy everyone else wanted and still wants, but you love that he chose you. The ego boyfriend.

You other girls also know you have a guy, who has no self-esteem. No real confidence to turn down a hot girl who wants to blow him in the bathroom of the bar he goes to. At some point, when you do you ladies own up to your choices?

Let me be real, I have dated some shady ladies, who I knew were all relationship jumpers. The kind of girls who jump from one relationship, back to an old one... back to you, and forward to the next guy who she deems as her next on her wish list of forever happiness. I have dated the girl who dated up, over me for a guy who made more money. Or the girl who doesn't know what she wants. The thing is, I didn't act all shocked..."Oh my god, how did this happen to me? I never saw this coming, fucking bitch!!!"

I knew, and like most of you...had hoped that I could somehow change their nature. You never do, and you take them as the risks that they are, or not at all. Look, we get no guarantee...or do they have one from you? I know you think you gave one...Why, just because you said so....Really? I remember talking to one of my friends, and asked...why did you do it...Why did you cheat on her? He had no idea, and said, I never thought I would and told her that much...I mean, I meant it when I said it.

People change when we meet people who change us. I know that's just not enough for the walking wouned out there. It just has to be that all men suck, they suck at life, they suck at being commited. They suck at sucking. I mean, that's what you all want to hear, right?

Truth is, You are just angry, that you weren't enough for your man to say no. And it hurts, it hurts that he needed something else, in someone else and you want to rip his face off, shit on it..flush it down the toilet, film it..and post it on Youtube, for other angry cheated on women to watch and hoot and holla at. You all need to create a group...Just call it "pissed off."

And for the very few, who really thought they picked an exceptional man, and he wronged you...I am truly sorry. You probably deserved better. But there are other women out there, whose husband cheated, and he lied, and he didn't tell you once it started...or before. But you know what, you deserved it. There are women out there, who treat their men like they are stupid, and like they garbage. Women who nag, and complain, and it didn't matter that they work hard, you are just miserable people. Don't think as a gender, think about it.

You mean to tell me, you don't have a male friend, who you kind of understood why he did what he did, and you support him, because you know her?

People cheat, not men...and not just women. And no one is honest about it. Or is it some conspiracy planned out long ago, and tag, you're it? I mean, it's nothing to be proud of. It happens, but you move on the best you can...one foot in front of the other, and you leave it behind you...and not on to the next guy who just might be genuine when he says, "I don't want to look past you."

Basil

Dating Naked

Spitting Out the Old Gum

Dating Naked
Writer: Basil Latorre
Topic: Moving on

...and chewing a new piece. Ever eat an old piece of gum for too long, yet you kept chewing that same piece? The flavor was gone. And you have been staring at a new piece in the pack for hours.

Well, when it comes to relationships, it seems as if the gum has lost its flavor, yet we can't seem to spit it out for that new piece. I know what you are thinking...how incredibly shallow is he to compare chewing gum to being in a long term relationship. But really, there is a close paradox between the two. It's a matter of knowing when to let go. Some people do it out of habit. It's just normalcy. But when the taste is gone, it is gone...NO?

I am all about time, and the amount we get in this life. And I will tell ya, it’s a mere blink of the eye and it’s over. Time is a gift, some say...or maybe it’s a curse? It feel's like a tease if you ask me. I want what you all want. Pure joy and happiness. I want high doses of bliss in a bottle of love crack. I want to get strung out on attention. I want be surprised for no reason, just because you wanted to do it for me. Most of all, I want to be looked at the same way you looked at me when we first met. I want stares and smiles, groping and kissing...the kind you need to take a moment and catch your breath. I want the sexy text messages at any given moment of the day. Followed by a horny, go sit down...I’m jumping your face, hello, I'm home greeting.

I want sex on tap...for no other reason than you can't get enough of me.

I want to be inspired every day...I don't want days off, I never want to stop dating, I don't care that we got married and had kids. I want flavor that doesn't stop giving. And from what I’ve noticed, everyone is chewing stale, old gum that stopped giving long ago; only you can't spit it out.

I guess I am the anti- Dr. Phil...the guy that says, “You know what? You had your chance...NEXT!!!”

Don't get me wrong, I believe everyone deserves a chance to get it right...to be heard. And maybe, just maybe, you share the blame in the failure of your relationship. Maybe instead of saying nothing, you should have spoken up sooner and actually put meaning behind what you felt in the first place. I know I am the first to spit out old gum, even before the taste is gone. Lie to me, and I am unforgiving. I guess I come from that school, where you better back up what you believe, or be ready to be walked on.

Let’s be real, relationships aren't what they use to be...or what we were told. And really, who knows what they use to be. I mean, if our grandparents met today, they might very well be divorced. You can't say one way or the other. But for me...what people call hard work, I call being lazy. When did something that used to be so easy for us, become hard work?

No, it's not hard work; you just stopped feeling it...you, or maybe both. I am sorry, but I can't buy into that thought, that relationships are work. But in the beginning, dating wasn't work...wanting to impress someone, that wasn't work. Getting a blow job, in the car one late drunk night...that wasn't work. Getting her preggers, that wasn't work...hell, when you didn't think about it, it was kind of easy, when you want something, it’s all easy. I know some Mom is saying, raising a kid, that’s hard work. But you know what? Shut up...if you are both working together, it’s not hard work; it's a pleasure, a gift.

You know why it’s hard? It's because you really don't want to anymore, at least with that person. And either out of guilt, or obligation, or both, you have to do this tedious act, when you rather do something else. I have an Aunt, who last year said, who says you always have to be happy? And I love her, I really do...but I felt kind of sad for her. And she is a God-loving woman, but you have to wonder if she just gave up at some point, and has accepted her fate in life’s choices.

If you are reading this, and don't like what you are reading...and starting to believe I am just some commitment-phobe, well, you would be wrong. I want more than any one you will ever meet...to have happily ever after. In saying that, I won't make it up as I go, if I made a mistake and the gum/relationship, has lost its flavor, then it’s time to spit it out, and chew a new piece. Because in my heart of hearts, I believe that we can always fix the now. But we can't go back, and say...coulda-shoulda-woulda.

In closing, life is short...so much so, it should be a crime. We only get one shot at this thing we call life. And if we don't put importance on it, then who will? How many of you have a friend who put effort into their marriage or relationship, only to be left holding the bag once they found someone else who is that new piece of gum? Maybe, you are that friend.

It's that, "beating a dead horse to death" analogy...only some of you are not just beating the horse, you are shocking it, giving it mouth to mouth, grabbing its balls and pulling...cherry picking the poor fucking dead horse. But it's dead. And so is your relationship. Dude cheated, he has ignored your cries for help...he has verbally abused you,he doesn't help out. Is that what you signed up for? If your relationship is starting to taste like old gum, maybe it’s time to let it go.

Basil
Dating Naked

Dating Down, What's YOUR Worth?

Dating Naked
Writer: Basil Latorre
Topic: Self worth

When did we start dumbing it down for companionship?

I guess it's a legacy left to us by our parents, who got together just to spite their parents. We all talk about what we won't put up with, what we won't do and who we will allow into our lives. Yet, almost to the script, we all settle for less than what we started out wanting. But how and why?

How and why starts off when we lose sight of our own self worth...when we devalue what's always been important to us. Core things that should never ever be compromised. We all have them...although different with each individual; we all have deal breakers that make us who we are. I have my own set of deal breakers...that absolutely cannot, will not ever be compromised. Those things make me who I am, and will shape me into who I will be down the line. Does that make me perfect...hell no. I am far from perfect and far from being check marked. But there comes a time, when you move on from that past, and grow into that person we set out to be.

With the tender age of thirty-five staring me down. I have realized my own self worth...and my past has little or no bearing on what I want in a partner.

With that, comes growth...and growth takes discipline. Something I have never been great at, and most people who know me, will agree and are probably nodding their head as they read this. Girls have always been my weakness...in many ways, my life's work.

In that, I deserve the best person who fits who I am today, and where I am going tomorrow. A person with her own set of values...just as important to her, as mine are for me. Your past also has little or no bearing on my choice of you. It's where you are today and where..."You" want to be tomorrow, that means everything. In saying that...if you are still dumbing it down today...as you were even a few years ago...then you offer me nothing in the way of a future. If time has taken it's toll, and you have no belief in a future of your own. So much so, you make bad choices now, then I can't help but look past you.

If you are dating, and falling for married men, if you are still sleeping with an ex, or if you are bedding random men who offer you nothing but that night; then what do you expect a guy to do...or see? If that's where you are and don't want a relationship...hey, more power to you. Nothing's wrong with being single and loving it. The problem is, it becomes who you are. Who you are, is what you are presenting to each person you meet.

I know what you are thinking...Don't judge me. But I'm not; I am just taking accountability for my life...wants, goals and values. Because if I don't, who will?

Our teenage years...well, they were fun. Our twenties... are all about learning that we don't know everything we thought we knew...and where we learn from those mistakes. But once we hit thirty, if we still haven't figured it out, then when will we?

If you say...I want a relationship, and not a bedroom partner...because you don't do that, and you are bedding the same guy, who has offered you nothing in the way of a relationship...then you are not reflecting your values. You have in turn, devalued them...only devaluing yourself to someone who just might be that potential life partner. If you are dating bottom feeders, and are a single mom dating a guy who has a prison record, you are dating down. If you are dating a junky, because you are tired of being alone, you are dumbing it down. If you are dating the same bar slobs who are divorced and only interested when they are drunk and stupid…what message are you sending other men?

You are quickly removed from being, potential...and become the pass-the-time girl. A time-share. And you only get a little.

That might be unfair...Just like it's unfair that some people who read my past, judge me on that today. But in that, at least I know that they take their time, their life seriously. I once heard a bunch of people talking about how we all like to date a little crazy. All I could think to myself to say was, "You wonder why you are all unhappy later." But what also dawned on me is, some of these same people who like a little crazy, are a little crazy.

Let's be real, the jealous date the jealous types. People who love drama surround themselves in drama. People who need to fight can't date someone timid. They need a running partner who can spark the most insane outburst. If you are constantly breaking up or all relationships ending the same, then it shows you put little or no time into learning from the past...why? Because you hold no value in your time, or to your heart; making you hard...inside and out.

But then you have the people who want better, who want calm, who are in the most insane relationships going, who ask themselves why they can't find someone normal. Well, why did you let the stupid fuck into your life in the first place? "When did you start dumbing it down?"

If you are a woman, who wants normal...who wants a family and to settle down, then why in the hell do you let repeat serial cheaters stay in your life? Where is the worth in that? Where is the value you are supposed to have on yourself? And honestly, why would anyone give you value and treat you with respect, if you let it slide?

All of us have a basic idea of the person we want to be with. When do we own that...when do with put value on our belief in happy?

In closing...What's my worth? What do I deserve and why? Well, I deserve honesty, with me and with her. I deserve a woman who wouldn't compromise the integrity of our relationship with a lie, because if I am the end all to be all...of a man you couldn't look past. Then you shouldn't have to lie.

I deserve the ultimate role model for our future children. A person who wouldn't do anything she wouldn't want her children to do. And who lives by that code. Who understands we had that single selfish time, and now, it's about them...it’s about family. A person who would lie down, and die for her kids...if that was needed. Just like me. But who wouldn't lie down, and die...a fighter.

I deserve everything and more, which I put in...I deserve a relationship-ready girl, who is over it...and wants what I want. Who doesn't let the bullshit that life throws at us, rattle her belief...her desire for something more...something amazing. You are what you surround yourself with. Other than that, excuses are all bullshit. The only excuse is, you just stop caring. We all have to sleep in the bed that we made. That’s my worth, what's yours?

Basil
Dating Naked

We're Only As Good as Their Options?

Dating Naked
Writer: Basil Latorre
Topic: Relationship/Options

Life is short, and relationships can be short-lived if you begin to take it for granted. Relationships all have expiration dates...At least in this day and age, people have short memories.

What have you done for me lately, isn't that the expression? I like to say, "We're Only As Good as Their Options." It's mean, but it's honest. I mean, that's what we all say we want, right? I wonder how true that really is.

Today, we learn about the failure of relationship values. Let's face it, half of you, never had any to begin with. Another 25% only think they have it, and the other 25% have it for only so long, until the next best thing comes along. I am convinced that's what it is. We all have short memories, and that's okay. It's okay to expect what it is you fell in love with in the first place. It's okay to feel you are being short-changed. It's okay to wish you had a sex life. It’s okay to expect conversation. In saying that, have you ever wondered how it got to the point of living without all of that?

It's easy to figure out why people need options. It’s easier to throw something away, than it is to put it back together; to fix it.

It's easier to fall in love with someone else that reminds you of what you once had. It’s easier to laugh with someone else, than it is to fight with you. It’s easier to have an affair, than it is to ask why we aren’t having sex. Relationships reach a stalemate period. When that happens, both parties weigh their options. Sometimes those options are being researched while still in the relationship. While you are ignoring the problem there is a person trying on your shoes, your clothing, your bed, in turn...your relationship, fits like a glove.

A while back, during the MySpace day's...I blogged about a girl who was having an affair with a guy who was engaged to another woman. There were some very strong comments and opinions about both parties. He was the perfect example of someone who was weighing his options, while having a safe option at home. The fiancé was lacking in the bedroom, so he had someone he can probably get to do anything. Someone who will bed and drop at need; a panty-dropper who is using her vagina to lure your man away from you.

It's a dog eat dog world, everyone is out for what they can get.

If you are wondering, why does he not just be with the girl on the side, let the bedroom disaster go? The girl on the side is lacking too, the only thing she has going for her is that he knows she will bark, and fetch for his pleasure. While she is great to pass the time with, she is not relationship material. If she were, he would break off the engagement, and make her it!!

He will continue to shop around and weigh his options until something comes along that he can't pass up. Until then, he will string along both girls while he is probably testing the market for something better.

If you are in a relationship, and entertaining other offers, you are guilty of doing this very same thing. And without revealing or ratting anyone out; it's happening on social networking sites every single day. MySpace/facebook are the Wal-Mart of options for a lot of us. NO one does unhappy for very long... eventually the laws of average will catch up to you, and if you're not looking...They are.

On the flip side…Grenade Gone Wild. To prove it's about options, I will unveil a story of a grenade who shed her shrapnel...and became datable by options, previously not interested. Now mind you, this girl wasn't fat by any means. I mean, I think she could still look down, and see her vagina...where it's my belief, once you can't look down and see her, you have officially gone, one pound too heavy.

Close your mouths, I said it...it's the same for guys too. Once we can't see over the hill, and see the mushroom cap, it’s time to officially attack the Slimfast shake and start running a mile. Immediately!!!

But getting back to the GGW, this was a person, who wanted a relationship, but couldn't get it...Ohh she could get laid. But no one wanted to stick around and grow old and big with her. Finally one day, she found what she was looking for, a boyfriend...only unlike most girls and guys in a relationship, she didn't put on relationship pounds, she lost some. And that's when guys, previously not interested, started giving her the one true thing she always wanted...Attention.

The more options she had, the less she wanted the guy who looked past her plumpness. Finally, she did what everyone would do in her position. She dumped her boyfriend for quantity, and, not quality...options she never had before. And as much as she preached she wanted a loyal, good -hearted man, who wanted what she wanted...in the end, she just wanted the men who rejected her. Options give us a false sense of security...although she can get guys; she still can't keep them...because today, she is chronically single.

If you always had options, it’s nothing at all to turn it down. But you have to wonder about those who never did, and what would they do, if suddenly they had something so above their norm, that they could turn it away. In some ways, I think we are all a product of settling...because you just never know. And in saying that, what do you think your partner would do, if something previously unattainable, wanted to be with them. Just how confident are you with the person you are in love with? Are you, only as good as their options?

Topic of conversation: Do you agree, or disagree with the end of my blog? Do you think we are all a product of settling?

Do you think we are only as good as their options?

And just how far would you go, to find out. Would you set your partner on a collision course with someone you know they would find attractive, just to see how they would react?

Would YOU, really want to know?

Basil

Dating Naked

To Friend, or to Boyfriend?

Hey Basil - What do you do if your boyfriend hates all your friends, and your friends hate your boyfriend? What do you do in that situation? Feels like a lose/lose situation if you ask me? Thanks, Marissa

Basil - Well, it is a situation, but to me...an easy one to figure out. This is a classic tug-of-war over loyalty. The boyfriend wants to know if it's all about him, or if you are tied to your friend's opinions. And your friends see someone who is different and who wants you to pull away from them. In both cases, they are both selfish in what they are doing. Maybe your friends like the ex, and have hopes you will return to that person. And the boyfriend, knows he is the outsider, and could give a rat's ass, because he knows he can't change their feelings. The question remains, is he really making you happy?

If he is, and you are not ignoring the issue of "sometimes love just blinds you" until something happens and you then see what everyone was talking about the whole time. If that's not the case, then you need to have a sit down with the friends. And ask them to be fair, and let you and your relationship grow, without the tug of war or guilt of being with him. On the flip side, maybe if the boyfriend cared, he would make an effort to show them that he is the right person for you. They don't have to love each other, just co-exist. And maybe, just maybe...mutual respect will evolve.


I trust all my friends' judgment because they know me better than anyone. Above all though, it's my decision. A decision I will have to live with, and whether or not it's the wrong one, better make the wrong decision yourself, than to look back knowing someone else made the wrong one for you. That's what being an adult is about. If it's your really good friend that knows you and he or she has a legitimate reason for not liking him, you should question that and really look into it. But that's it. They are there to advise you, not make choices for you. A "REAL" friend, will know that.

The NAKED truth
Basil, Dating Naked

The NAKED Truth...He Wants Space

Dear Basil, what does it mean when he says he wants space after six years of being together and having a child? Signed anonymous.

Dear Anonymous...would love to tell you he is just going through stuff, and he needs space to work it all out. But I would only be doing that to soften the blow that he is probably talking to someone else who has his attention. And that maybe, you sense this, and might be hovering over his every move. So by asking for space, he gets to explore it. Leaving you as the fall-back option. My question to you is, has he ever cheated on you? Do you break up a lot?

She replied that they always fought, and that he left her for another woman about a year ago for about three months.

My question in return was, why did she take him back after that, and why does she not know what "I need space means?" It's pretty obvious that he has his eyes open for new options. That he has little respect for her, and that she does not value herself like she should. Why would anyone take being the fall-back option if you had any value of one's self?

The answer is simple, she is afraid to have to start all over, as a single Mom, and that she has little or no self worth. I don't mean that as an insult as much as I am meaning to slap some sense into her. Beyond him being the father of her child, he offers her nothing tangible. Just a warm body she is used to having around so that she doesn't have to be alone. I think it's honorable for parents of children to work things out, but when is enough, really enough?

She went on to ask, so would I look stupid if I moved on?

I replied, I think you would look stupid if you didn't. Kind of desperate he would settle on you, or things wouldn't work out...and you would be the fall-back girl. Who wants that? I mean really, chances are, he is probably a tool...and the girl he is talking to will see that, unless she is a walking cum dumpster with no intelligence whatsoever. Even if by some odd chance, there isn't another girl, I think it's an insult that after you took him back, he has the ball sack to ask you for space. If by some chance, that was me...she would have just signed her walking papers. "You want space, I got space for ya!!!"

My advice, give it to him. Only that space should be forever. Because believe me when I tell you, this ship has sailed, and you are holding on to the past, and not the current situation. Maybe he is doing nothing wrong, but maybe it's you. Maybe you are suffocating the life from him and the relationship; he needs to get away from you. Who wants to have a relationship, where all you do is fight? Maybe, you are not the girl you once were. Maybe you suffocate him because you know this, and you are trying to stifle him from meeting anyone else and leaving you like he did before. Maybe, just maybe...you outgrew each other. Maybe he needs you to set him free, if you love someone, you might just have to love him enough to set him free if that's what he wants and needs. At this point, he would only being staying because he feels badly, or he doesn't think he could do better. Would you really want him after knowing that? If so, what does that say about you?

In closing, there are three sides to every story, Your side, his side and the truth. That's why I needed to place some blame on you. Somewhere in the middle of it all, lies the truth. The glaring thing that came out of this, is he left you before. The best revenge in this situation is this, work on yourself. Prove to him, and to yourself, that you can do it without him. That you, were the better option he can't have back. The only thing that matters at this point is how you two act for the kid. To move on without trying to destroy one another. If only for the kid you two made when you were in love, or in lust.

What's Space ?

Are the sexes so different, that we have different meanings for the infamous request “I need some space”?

Many times the woman’s definition of "I need space" is different from the man’s definition of this request. So it's not rocket science to figure out why women are confused when a guy puts that out there. When women are in committed relationships, very seldom are they looking for space, anything but.

Now that is not to say that you don’t have your women players out there looking to have a good time, while trying to hold down a relationship on the sneak.

For the most part, women don't ever want to give their man too much time to think of a reason why he shouldn't be committed to her. So if your woman was to tell you that she needs her space, what is it she is asking for exactly? I think it's a safe bet to say, she is weighing her options. Space can mean that she needs time to think about what she’s doing with a guy like you and whether or not the relationship is worth her time. Maybe you were the timeshare during a lonely period of her life.

I need space can simply mean...get out of my face and out from up my ass, meaning you might be a little too attached for her liking.

Needing space sometimes means that she needs time to be away from the stress of the relationship and just needs some “her” time. That's what they would tell you. 'Me' time means, I want to be single, but I am not sure. I need space so that I can figure that out, all while leaving you twisting in the wind.

Last but not least, I need space can mean that she is trying to get your attention by scaring you into thinking that she might not want to be with you. Using the threat to get more out of you than you were giving before. Maybe the relationship has gone on long enough, and now she needs to know she is in it for the long haul. The threat of space, might just get the ring she was looking for, or, the answer she has been going over in her mind. Will he ask me at all, or will I be that long term girlfriend who never got it, while the next bitch gets my ring?

I need space can basically mean a whole lot nothing at all, or a whole lot of insecurity.

On the flip side, men don't ask for space unless, A...There is an option they are interested in. B... You are so far up his ass, you know what he had for a snack earlier that day. C... He is ready to put an end to what has been a debate going on in his head for awhile. You see, men don't need the threat of space to get more out of you, because getting more out of you has never been a problem. Men don't have to wait for the ring. So we don't have that issue. And space, just means go find a hobby, I love being with you, but not every fucking second of the day. Any way you spell it out, space, is never a good thing.

NAKED!!!

Basil

Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater, blah, blah, BLAH!

Do you think that's true, or are you bitter and need to tell yourself that because you don't have any other answers?

Let me be the first to give you the NAKED truth...Yes, he or she cheated. They betrayed a trust and now, you are a bitter little pill about the whole thing. But let's not become a cliche', and start ranting about cheaters, and how "Once a cheater, always a cheater". Sure, be angry...but you are missing the glaring fact, that he or she, wasn't it for you, or they wouldn't have. They did you a favor, because, do you really want to be with someone who cheats first, breaks up later?

I know, I know...You want answers, why do people cheat?

Well, there is not just one reason...depends on the sex. No, not sex lives, although, that is one of the reasons people cheat, they are not getting laid. But what I meant was the sex, male or female. Men, tend to cheat for very different reasons. Men are simple creatures...there is no mystery to the sex, although to women...we as men, are a science they have yet to master. That is true, because you have yet to learn to think like us, and not a woman. It just might be dangerous for you to even do so. But men cheat for the simplest reasons you could ever imagine. Why?

They just couldn't say no!!!

It's the truth...men just can't turn away the opportunity. Most guys have only heard about the sex lives their friends have had, or what they see on TV. For men, it's almost an urban legend. The hot new girl at work, she only fucks the boss...right? Or, the girl on the business trip...that doesn't really happen? Auhh, but it does, and until men are faced with the opportunity...they are not lying when they say they wouldn't cheat. You will hear men deny it, even catch attitude when generalized about being a dog, like every other guy. But what's he supposed to say?

Yeah, honey...I do love you, but, I am only as faithful as my options?

No, he's not going to say that, he is going to make you feel as secure about his commitment to you as he possibly can...because he doesn't know the future any more than you do. You might be married til death do you part, or until some other girl's legs part. I get the feeling sometimes, women think it was a plot from day one. Lure them in, give the woman a false sense of security, then bring in the new babes. For guys who cheat on their wives, it was as much a surprise to the guy, as it was to the wife. I think women give men too much credit a lot of the time. We really aren't that clever, not that some men aren't. Some are masters of the game. But really, men are as stupid as we are when we leave the porno in the DVD player..."I don't know how that got there?"

Men are always going to be weak to women with amazing bodies and a sexual appetite that she can verbalize. Men, just can't say no, not all men...there is a very very small number of guys who make a commitment, and won't budge. But even they have a weakness, a weakness I would love to put to the test, when they have no idea they are being tested...watch them fall under the pressure. I know that's mean, but I just always have to be right...and I know I am. <---my reality TV show idea... lol

It's my version of Punk'd...call it, Bust'd. Right when the guy is about to cheat, the wife jumps out and screams, BUST'ed...that's when I come out like Ashton, right behind her. lol

For most guys, it's not a matter of being faithful, but a matter of how many options they have. Look at a rockstar, or a rap artist...actors. They all have options, and that's why they move from commitment to commitment. Brad had Jennifer, did a movie with Angelina...Marriage over. Look at Jon and Kate, plus eight. The guy suddenly got a little bit of fame, and he was dipping it in every option he could, plus the nanny.

If you ask some women, that's because they are dogs...pigs and whatever name you can think of as an insult. But that's anger talking...bitterness that you weren't enough...weren't enough to turn away the options. It is a hard pill to swallow, but sometimes, we are just not enough, doesn't matter how hard you try.

It's not just about options, it's about staying young, by changing what's old around you.

Other men cheat, well...because the wife got old...physically, and mentally. She is nothing like the girl he married...she dresses differently...wears her hair differently. She is insecure about her own immortality. Maybe a little bitchy. Simply put, guy meets a girl, who reminds him of the wife he use to be in love with, and in lust with. Love loses its luster, when the lust fades...don't lose sight of that very important fact.

On the flip side, women cheat for more complicated reasons.


For women...this is where it gets tricky. Young girls cheat, because well, they are young and probably shouldn't be in a relationship. I tell my younger cousins all the time, from 17 to 25, be single...screw being in a relationship, they just hold you down. From school, from life, from friends. From going places. I see it all the time, kids trying to be adults when they have no business doing so. But that's because society confuses them. Young people want to get laid, just like everyone else. But society dictates that you should be in a commiment, that commitment sex is better...religion tells us to wait till we are married. You have teens, having babies and getting married, before they even know what they are getting into. So of course you are going to heve a break down in relationships, and when it breaks down, wolves like myself, sneak in the back door. Age is the major reason cheating exists.

Wrong guy, wrong time.

Sometimes, it's as simple as being with the wrong guy, yet not wanting to be alone. And then someone comes along, that rattles everything right down to the foundation of your family, and relationship. You might even push it away at first, but curiosity gets the better of us, almost every time.


Last but not least - PEOPLE cheat, because something is missing from the one who promised to be everything we needed. Men stop dating women, once we have them. Women become full time mommies before they have their first child. He is called the husband. The sex, the passion, all disappear over time, but the woman's sex drive doesn't. In fact, it goes up, and men's penis's start to go down, and stay down. But women won't leave or stray just because of that, they might talk shit about him to her BFF. But she won't cheat. They cheat, when the romance leaves and is forgotten. When they feel neglected and taken for granted. They cheat with the guy friend, who always listens, who plays the part she wishes the husband played.

Some women, well, they just cheat like guys do, because she could. Because the opportunity presented itself. I once interviewed a happily married woman, who had a great sex life, great husband and father. Yet, she felt she needed someone else when she got bored, to keep her marriage fresh and new. She was content, and felt strongly that her hubby would never find out, and as of today, he still hasn't.


I have slept with all three female examples. After me, they left their husbands and boyfriends...eventfully met someone else and are happy, and not cheating. Give someone happy, and they won't cheat. So, the idea of, once a cheater, always a cheater...created by angry women who hate the fact that someone they trusted, and loved...betrayed them. I cheated in high school...yet, my whole eight year relationship, I never cheated once. It's not a science.

In closing, what I come away with is this...people make mistakes, in people. Over age, over not really getting to know who they are with. Over not living a good single life, before they make a commitment. I know guys who cheated on the wife. Married a second time, and are as happy as they ever were in the first marriage. Same for women. Then there are those, who are just not meant to be tied down. And you know what, it took a few broken hearts to realize it. That's life. But I understand why some people need to believe cheaters will always be cheaters...But you can say the same thing to those ex-boyfriends who spent years with you, and never gave you a ring, but did so to the next girl, under a year. Bitterness...NAKED!!!

Basil Latorre

Dating Naked

The Proposition...One Night Role-Play

Dating Naked
Writer: Basil Latorre
Topic: Roleplay/Rape Fantasy

My time online, I have seen it all and just about heard it all. I have even been propositioned.

Most of the time, being propositioned for sex is a good thing if you are a single, horny guy on the prowl for no-string's attached girl-"friends." I mean, most men are, but some won't admit to that fact. Truth is, every single guy is up for that...with the right non-committal girl of course. They just don't make enough of those girls after college. After college, girls tend to start looking for the serious guy. Non-committal girls are the rarity, so when you find one...enjoy her, it won't happen a lot.

When I first signed up for Myspace... some time in 2004, early '05, I was friend-requested by this one girl who enjoyed reading my lame, boring old blogs I had just posted. This was before I figured out this blogging thing. Who am I kidding, I still haven't figured it out! But she liked it. This is where I learned Myspace was full of interested women looking for fun flirting...and of course, love. I was more interested in the fun and flirting. Love was a disease I wasn't interested in catching. I learned pretty fast that it was spreading-like Swine flu. Thank God I had the H1N1 vaccination called the recent ex-girlfriend to remind me I didn't want any part of that.

This girl wasn't looking for her next hit of love crack on Myspace...she was looking for her next hit of E, ME!!

It was all heavy flirting and innuendos from the start. That's how it always starts. You start out with small doses of flirting...where it leads to more intense, more in your face kind of flirting. Pretty soon, you are talking dirty and what you want to do to her, followed by her reply of filth and what she is going to do to you in return. It was great, she wanted love and a relationship about as much as I did. I thought it could be all smoke and mirrors, but the more we talked, I got the idea she just wanted to get it pounded and cum a lot. We did a little photo sharing...phone sex. She was really wild, with the pulling my hair stuff, push me around, but I didn't think anything of it, some girls like it that way. So, I told her I would grab the back of her neck, bend her over and finger her from behind...She loved it, the more aggressive I got, the more she got into it.

After awhile, I began to learn that she really wasn't, or couldn't be satisfied sexually. And like any guy, we all think we can be the one to give it, and give it to her good.

I know what you girls are thinking. Where have I heard that before?

What are we supposed to say though ladies?

No, you're right, probably can't fuck you retarded, let me hit it anyway? That's hot...but again, like all guys, I really did think I could. At this point in my life, I had already tried and been having sex long enough where I knew where I was king, and where I needed help. And let's face it, we all think we have the magic wand for a cock...hocus pocus, YOU have multiple orgasms. Abra cadabra - SQIURT!!!!

I might even be able to convince you I can pull a rabbit out, but that might also scare you. So I will stick with the orgasms.

She was into me, but she still didn't seem convinced, and I really wanted to fuck her now. Even just out of curiosity...what's the worst thing that could happen, I can't? I would just blame her, and go about my business, smirk. I mean that's what us guys do anyway to save face...we blame the vagina not being functional.

So one night, the conversation takes a wild twist. She finally gets curious enough to meet up, I mean we both live in NYC. She starts asking me questions about roleplay, and how aggressive I can be...I mean, what, she wants me to pull hair, throw her around. I got that. She wants a good sport fuck.

But no, for us to have sex, she wanted to know if I would rape her in some funky roleplay craziness. Now I have heard of rape fantasies. But not with an actual stranger. But it gets even more crazy, seems as if this is the only way she can get off...to be punched, surprised and then raped while she tries to fight back.

I said: Whoah Momma - What the fuck are you talking about?

She said: I want you to rape me and hurt me...punch me in the face and fuck me.

I said: Did we have issues as a kid...are you kidding, or just fucking crazy?

She said: Not crazy, I can't get off any other way.

I said: Ok, well, do YOU think I'M crazy, what makes you think I would ever agree to that?

She said: Well, you talk a good game, prove it.

I am imagining me in hand cuffs, crying as they take me away for rape...screaming, she wanted it, I swear.

I said: That takes serious trust...let me ask you, do you do this with everyone, since you can't get off?

She said: Sometimes I go out and do this...with strangers I meet at clubs. You would be surprised how many guys enjoy doing it.

I couldn't get past the idea of jail, and that I really didn't know this girl, or who she was, or was about. And most of all, punching her. Like I said, I can throw you around, on the bed...be forceful. Pull your hair while I control you. But actually punching her...Yikes. I took a pass on the idea of the worst possible outcome. And that was, that she said it wasn't consensual. I am not above playing out a rape fantasy, but that requires trust, and knowing your partner. And signing a letter of consent wouldn't hurt either, for that matter,or talking into a video camera that you agreed to it.

She promptly deleted me after calling me a pussy. I replied with a meow. This is one pussy that will never be behind bars...or wanted by the law, like Kobe Bryant. Kobe may have been guilty of cheating on his wife, but of rape...I seriously doubt it. Roleplay is and can be a lot of fun. But it's not something you can do with a stranger. People shouldn't be thought of as weird for their interests. I have a cousin Sebastian, who by day, is a hard working father of three. But by night...enjoys the fantasy of being a vampire, who goes by the name, Don Dante Della Morte. He likes being around other people who enjoy that culture. I am sure there is vampire fucking to go with it.

I did have one other roleplay reality experience...but that will come in a future reality blog.

So I have to ask, how do you feel about Rape roleplay fantasies?

Do you think she would have cried rape?

Basil LaTorre

Dating Naked.

Just how FAR will You Go...Role Playing?

Well, now that depends...what are we talking about here? Are we talking about playing doctor and nurse, or dressing up as furry animals, and having a furry romp, midday in the park?

I have always thought role play was fun...I mean, it keeps a relationship fresh, while, never really having to go outside the commitment. Just discovering the filth inside the minds of our better halves can be a lot of fun...and might I add, arousing. On the other hand, it can also be an absolute mind fuck if it's something you really aren't into. "You wanna what, wear that...and do what again?"

I am pretty kinky for a 33 old white boy from Brooklyn, NY. I will pretty much try anything, as long as it doesn't make my rectum bleed or put me in drag. I will not be sporting a pretty butterfly thong, as much as some of you are giggling at that idea like third graders at the sound of an oops fart. I am however, up to play the part.

Just tell me what you need...what are we talking about?

How far are you willing to go for someone you love...that is the question. Would you rape someone you love, if they asked you to? That's role play. Would you dress up, and play a part? Would you go out in public, with someone you know everything about, and pretend you didn't know them, like you were cheating?

These examples are the new form of role play. The doctor, yeah..he is out. The school teacher...well, that's still in if you ask me. I always wanted to shtook my teacher.

If your husband wanted you to dress up, as a school girl, in a Catholic school girl's uniform, would you? Should you? Would you think he is secretly thinking about under-aged girls, still in high school?

Would you put on, a pink furry costume of a rabbit?

As much as that amuses me. I have to admit, I have stumbled upon some porn of people playing furries and fucking, and found it hard to look away. I also admit, if my girl came to me, and asked me to wear it, I might look at her funny, say out loud..."you're kidding...right?" But if I knew she was totally serious, as ashamed as I am to admit this, I would be online researching furry costumes.

I say that, because once you open that door, there is no closing it. Who wants to close a door, on something that they have been secretly fantasizing about for God knows how long?

Relationships are far too serious to begin with...it's why men wander. It's why women read books, instead of blowing their husband. Marriages tend to become the house of Mommy and Daddy, and we have to be these role models for our children. Next thing we know, we have become our parents. The parents you make faces at when you think of them getting a quickie and catching them in the act. To prove that, imagine Mom and Dad dressed as furries, getting it on in the park...behind some bushes.

Mind fucked ya, huh?

Some of you are thinking, well...I am not into that. I don't have to worry about that scenario. Me and my other half, are not into role play of any kind. But what if he or she was...but they never told you, until now?

I can tell you right now...behind every relationship, is a secret they have never told you. Don't believe me, ask your spouse in a way that encourages honesty, not hide it. Be open to whatever they might drop on your lap. They might want to spank you...S&M anyone?

Maybe it's one of those things I already mentioned...maybe they want to act like you guys just met, and meet for sex at a hotel on the sneak. Maybe they want to dress up as an adorable, cute, little freaky mouse. Maybe they want you to dress up as their favorite character from Star Wars...Like Han Swallows. What if your husband, like Zack and Miri Make a Porno, wants to make a porno of you two on his own? Just how kinky can you get for the love of your relationship? It might just end up being a catastrophic success.

For the record, I am not really sure if I could wear a furry. But it's open for conversation. But if I was, what furry should I be? It's open for comment, and debate...and STOP laughing...NAKED!!!

Basil La Torre