Thursday, October 14, 2010

Stripping Down Dating Sites


Dating Naked
Writer: Basil Latorre
Topic: Dating Sites


I can’t figure out if dating in my thirties is bad, or dating in Pennsylvania just blows or if it’s the shitty attitude everyone seems to have about dating.

But for sure, dating sites are sucking the life out of serious-minded women all over. For sure, dating sites have women becoming borderline bi-polar, because they can't seem to tell the good from the bad. I may not be an expert, but I can strip it down, just enough too give you a better understanding of what's out there, and why it's going so badly.

First, it's not just you ladies, it’s men too. All those self-promoting nice guys who are pissed that you all say you want nice guys, yet they can't get a reply or a minute of your time. Deep down, all these self-absorbed men, who know they have better jobs have less of a chance to ever have a better offer on the table, meaning they won't cheat. Knowing that the only thing they have going for them, is this whole nice guy thing, yet they are left with unread, deleted emails. All because your headline on your dating profile read,

"Are there any good ones left?"

See, in that...I don't assume I am, "one of the good ones." I am someone's good one, just not everyone I date. To many, I am a huge disappointment in one form or another. Either I didn't deem you relationship material, or did I fit into your plans. The biggest complaint women have of men and dating sites, is that they are all faking their intentions...and just trolling for pussy. Now that is very true. It's also the most obvious statement ever made...you mean, men are thinking with their dick, really? Who would have thunk it!!

Reality ladies, all men have that thought, even the self-promoting, self-absorbed nice guy's, want to get laid.

But, not every guy who started out promising and didn't work out was player playing a game on you. Sometimes, it's just not there. Sometimes, it takes trial and error, to find out it was a short term, time share situation. And yes, if after sex...men still don't feel a connection, they move on, sometimes without much conversation at all. Because honestly, who wants to rip you apart and make you feel bad. Sometimes, saying nothing or very little, works best...and who are you kidding, it’s women who invented that. As much as that offends you, it's no different than that guy you were talking to, who you declared no more than just a friend. You think he liked that?

So you are wrong, not every guy who didn't work out, was not looking for serious. He just didn't see you as his serious. You win some, you lose some, but you move on. I can't say that my ultimate goal has been accomplished either, so if that's failure, I am failing miserably too, right along with you. Whatever the case may be, my love life is lacking the love, filled with lots of the lust. Bringing me to the biggest complaint most women have of men on dating sites.

"Tired of the games, tired of the bar scene...and most of all, done with the drama." I swear, you all have the same things to say.

At one time, Dating sites were new and viable ways to meet new people. It gave us more variety, more options so that we can better screen out dates. We could talk to multiple people at once, and weed out the ones who we would just end up wasting their time. Then, like everything else...it caught on.

Bar scene drop outs: So you thought by not going to the bar that your level of finding Mr. Serious, Mr. Right would greatly increase? I know, your friend told you some story how she found her new fiancé on match, and how happy she is, so you thought you could drink her Kool-aid...and sign up and find your man?Problem with that is, you're not her friend, and you signed up for the new freebie site. I mean why pay for it when you can just sign up for the free one. The thing with that is, so did all those guys from the bar you got tired of meeting. Most dating sites are overrun by pussy-trolling, booty-call looking guys. They probably out number more serious minded guys by ten to one.

So if you are tired of the bar scene, why are you on the new biggest singles bar in your neck of the woods?

Game on: Games, just saying you are tired of them, makes me think you have too much baggage and kind of invite the games. Let me be frank, when a douch-ie bag reads that, the first thing they see is their next victim. The next girl who is either too stupid, or too naive to see his game coming. You invite it; by showing you have a bad history of it. Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, and I'm a moron, assume the pos-ish, because you deserve taking it in the ass. Jerk-offs are going to contact you, it doesn't matter how bitchy you sound...you are inviting it by daring the next one. Just learn from your mistakes, shut your mouth, and troll for a husband. Besides that...it's a turn off.

Drama-Lama: It's so funny; it’s always the people who cry out they hate the drama that always seem to have it in their lives. Yet they never seem to understand why. You fucking trolls who date married men...who have wife drama, who have girlfriend drama, who have stalkers...it’s not them, it’s you! It's almost the same thing as those people who hate the games. You don't hate the drama, you love it. You only hate it, when it gets out of control. You are the same mindless cum-dumpsters who need that attention...because that attention is all you have going for you. Just last week, and I won't name names. I had some guy contact me, who also tried friend requesting me just so that he could ask questions about a girl he was slamming at one time.

I knew what it was right away, and contacted my female friend. Turns out he is some married dude that she was a panty dropper for. And he wanted to know what my involvement was with her. That right there, drama...because you allow it and I don't. It's hideous, it's boring...it’s time consuming backwards bullshit. We as potential men in your life can't have anything to do with that. And who's going to take you seriously. If you have to say it out loud, maybe you need to change yourself before the change begins in the men you are going to potentially date.

As a guy, reading profiles, those are the ones I try to avoid. Angry, victimized sociopaths who are probably just as much of the player, as the guys she is claiming to avoid.
If you want to pick out the bad from the good, then stop reading all the emails men send you. Seriously, and do your own search. Contact the guys who interest you. By what they have to say in their profile, what they do... and what they are looking for. But most of all, you know they had no bad intentions, because it was you who found them. You are not just one of the hundred emails guys spam to women a day. Auhh, you didn't know that?

That's the secret men will never admit. Guys don't contact one person at a time. They write out a message, a message that seems to get replies...and copy and paste it to the best looking women in their area, and surrounding areas. Out of the one hundred emails, they are lucky if they get ten replies. But that's nine or ten more than they would have gotten if they just sent out one, to that one girl who they really put time into reading. Now, if you want to read a few emails from someone who is interesting to you, who fits what you think you are looking for, go ahead. But understand, you are just one of many he is waiting to hear back from. I am sure women do the same, or close to it.

Gold diggers, attention whores...boy toy seekers, who only contact the shirtless meatheads who have jersey shore haircuts. There is a girl on my page, who talks to as many guys as she can on her dating site and adds them to her Facebook...and she has like four thousand friends. She is an attention whore...Why? Because the more men she has, the better she feels about herself. It's not to be taken seriously...you might bump uglies with her, but she is not to be taken seriously. It’s all a game and we are all players in it. We are playing the field. Both men and women.

In closing, stay away from the newly divorced males and females. Although they are different creatures, they both share one common thing: they are not looking to jump right back into serious. Women might say they are, but take it from me, they are not. The first sign of anything commitment like, and they are out the door, and on their divorce papers, like it’s a magic carpet ride.

You have to remember, these are people who may have been married for ten or more years. Dating sites, and Facebook...and options, are all new to them. They will explore it all, before they commit again. If you are okay with that and know that they will not be closing out their profiles, while dating you, then enjoy. But I met a girl, who told me about her situation with a divorced guy...and she couldn't figure it out. He was introducing her to his kids, taking her out on his boat down the shore, and spending all kinds of money on her. Enough for her to close out her profile, and pay attention to just him, only he didn't. He was still testing the market...when she asked me about it. I asked her two questions...How long has he been divorced and how long was he married. She said he has been divorced for a year, and was married sixteen years.

And there's your answer, 16 years ago, there weren’t dating sites like we have today. He has money, and he has options, and options he will explore before he takes the dive down commitment lane. As long as girls are emailing him, he will explore it. Remember, it’s a dating site, not a relationship site. There is a difference. Some people want to date, and other's date for a commitment. Make sure you ask the prerequisite questions that are important to you...and remember, it’s not a guarantee, just a tool, full of tools.

Basil
Dating Naked

3 comments:

deidre on June 5, 2012 at 9:52 PM said...

Hey Bas. Good to hear from you again :)

I absolutely agree with everything you said. I have closed every dating profile I had. It just wasn't netting me anyone that ignited any real sparks. I will say this, my profile was different. I wrote it as if I were writing a letter to the man I wanted to meet..as if I'd already found him.

It weeded out the mindless, the pictures only scanners, and I did meet better quality men with a better level of intelligence and creativity. Just no sparks.

There is something called "meetup.com" which has branches in every city, where you can connect with groups of people with similar interests--single or couples.

So far, I've met more people I have things in common with, while I'm getting out and doing things I enjoy. with others who enjoy the same things.

deidre on June 5, 2012 at 9:52 PM said...

Hey Bas. Good to hear from you again :)

I absolutely agree with everything you said. I have closed every dating profile I had. It just wasn't netting me anyone that ignited any real sparks. I will say this, my profile was different. I wrote it as if I were writing a letter to the man I wanted to meet..as if I'd already found him.

It weeded out the mindless, the pictures only scanners, and I did meet better quality men with a better level of intelligence and creativity. Just no sparks.

There is something called "meetup.com" which has branches in every city, where you can connect with groups of people with similar interests--single or couples.

So far, I've met more people I have things in common with, while I'm getting out and doing things I enjoy. with others who enjoy the same things.

deidre on June 5, 2012 at 10:06 PM said...

My phone is crashing..but you have a great way of summing things up and bringing it all into focus.

I thought I was ready when I was newly divorced..I was NOT. Drama follows you when YOU attract it. Deal with yourself and then I believe you'll attract the type of person you are truly looking for.

Good luck, Bas.